On the Run
by BettyHT
Summary: The story follows the On Borrowed Time story and is about five years later. Adam faces accusations and a tragic loss, and has to flee. He and his family need to investigate to discover who is behind the things that have been done. Sexual references and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**On The Run**

**Chapter 1**

"There's no point in second guessing it now. Once you walked out of that jail with me, you accepted my decision."

"Joe, I can't help it. I had to run, but you don't."

"I had to do it too. With this disguise, no one can swear it was me. I know Roy's going to have some questions, but Hoss is ready to cover for me. We'll meet him up ahead soon with the packhorses. He's been hunting, and should have several animals already. We didn't care what he shot because it just has to be enough to show that we were hunting. You'll take the extra packhorse, and we'll head back to the Ponderosa. I wasn't going to let my brother hang for something he didn't do. Now we have to find out who did it and why they did it. Someone wanted you out of the way and wanted you to be badly hurt enough that they committed murder." Joe watched as a dark shadow passed across his brother's face and tears glistened in his eyes. Adam's tears always came from deep within his soul. Anyone who knew him would understand that he didn't kill her if he could feel so awful about it. "When we find out who did that, we can bring them to justice. It's the only way to clear you so you can go home."

"I'm not used to doing things this way."

"Well, I am. For once, you need to follow my lead. I was afraid that when I showed up, you wouldn't go with me. Then you'd be swinging from a rope right about now, and Pa would have lost a son for no good reason. We have a chance to fix this, but we need to ride hard and fast. Once you cross into California, you only have to worry about bounty hunters."

"Well that's reassuring."

With a small grin, Joe swing mounted up on Cochise. They had to rest the horses, but they needed to keep moving too. It would soon be dark, and they knew their way around these mountains almost as well as the Paiute who lived here. No posse would find them if they stayed up in the near wilderness. Unfortunately, if Adam stayed in the mountains, he would be safe but never able to go home. That was not acceptable to either one of them. It had been an elaborate set-up. Whoever had done it had created a case that a jury believed. Adam had been so devastated by his loss, that his mind had been numb. He had not been able to think. When he realized his son would lose a father as well as his mother, he was determined to do something, but locked in a cell and facing the gallows, he had been feeling hopeless. Joe's arrival had reinvigorated him. He would find his wife's killer and unravel this frame-up. His grief was pushed down into his heart as his anger over what had been done to his wife and to him emerged. First though, he and Joe had to find a way to be safe. To do that, now they had to find out who that was and why they had done it. Unfortunately, they had no clues and would have to begin their investigation blind.

It had started with the arrival in town of Matt Galvin, an old friend of his wife. Adam had been gone to San Francisco for two weeks. By the time he returned, there had been all sorts of rumors about his wife and Matt Galvin. Adam had asked her if anything happened while he was gone, and she had said nothing important. He had stewed on that because he had been shocked in town when one of the local troublemakers had taunted him on his return. He had hit the man and would have done more except Sheriff Roy Coffee had intervened and told Adam to go home and cool off. Finally after two days and another fight in town, he confronted her after their four-year-old son was in bed and sleeping. His voice was quiet but intense.

"How do you know Matt Galvin?"

She could hear the anger in his voice. She had known since he had arrived home that he was angry with her. She didn't know how to tell him what had happened. She didn't want him to go after Matt Galvin because she suspected that was exactly what Matt had tried to orchestrate. "When I was young, I was with him for a time."

"So 'with him' is exactly what I think it is?"

Nodding, she tried to explain. "I didn't know you then. I was so delighted to have freed myself from my father's control that I lived life according to my own rules. That changed dramatically when I met you. I found that I liked some of the rules, and one of those was pledging myself to you for the rest of my life."

"How about the pledge to always be truthful with each other?"

"I have been truthful. Adam, I love you like no other. I can love no other with you in my life. You have filled my heart, my mind, and my soul. Our son is the only other one who has that kind of hold on me."

Adam had taken her to bed then. He had been rough and demanding, and she had smiled and enjoyed all of it. By the time they finished, he had burned out the anger within as well as any feeling of betrayal. No woman could react as she had done if she entertained feelings for any other man. He had smiled when they were done and her head lay on his chest.

"Well, cowboy, I'm going to be sore tomorrow. I'm glad we're not expecting any company. They would wonder what was wrong with me, and my smile would give it all away if they asked."

"Barbara, I love you so much. I'm sorry I was angry earlier."

"I understand better than you think I do. Our son has the same temperament. Please keep that in mind as he gets older. He tries to be strong and tough like you, but inside, his heart is just as soft and vulnerable."

"So now I'm soft and vulnerable?"

"On the inside. On the outside, you're all tough and hard." Barbara pressed her body into his and began kissing him.

"I thought you were already sore. Woman, I'm going to be walking funny tomorrow too."

Laughing lightly, Barbara had kissed her way up to his chest again. "No, you won't. You'll want me again in the morning, but you need to wake up early if you do because Jon will be awake by six." They had made love gently then showing the love they had for each other.

Afterwards, pulling the covers up and over them, Adam settled back into the pillows and closed his eyes. The next morning he awakened to a pair of hazel eyes gazing into his at the side of the bed. Jonathan smiled as soon as his father was awake. He had missed him and wanted to see him the night before but Adam had arrived home after Jon was asleep. However, when he saw his parents' bedroom door closed, he knew his father was home.

"Did you forget that you're supposed to knock on our door when it's closed?"

Shaking his head, Jon smiled again. "I knocked and then I came in. You and Mama were still sleeping so I waited for you to wake up."

"How about if you go get dressed and give us a chance to do the same. You can come back in to watch me shave if you want."

Life had seemed so simple and wonderful. That had ended that day. Adam had gone out to work, and when he got home, the sheriff was at his house. He wanted to go inside, but they wouldn't let him. His son was at the Ponderosa main house with Grandpa Ben, but they wouldn't let Adam go see him. The boy had been devastated. Matt Galvin was there. He said he had ridden in to see Barbara as soon as he had seen Adam leave that morning. He said he found her dead, and her son crying at her side. In the trash pit outside the house, they had found a bloodstained pair of Adam's trousers and one of his shirts wrapped around a bloody knife. Adam had not been allowed to attend his wife's funeral but had been arrested, tried, and convicted of his wife's murder. His son was nearly catatonic and wouldn't speak at all to anyone. The authorities granted custody to Ben under condition that Jonathan not be brought to the jail to see his father.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

During the trial, Adam had been almost too numb to react to the various witnesses who were brought forward to demean his reputation and convince the jury that he was capable of such violence when provoked. Adam had some unusual tastes in women and in sexual behavior. Women from various fancy houses were brought in to testify to those. Other women were banned from the courtroom during that testimony, and some men felt compelled to leave as well although the stories were widely circulated throughout the town by those who remained in attendance. The painted lady who had been his favorite before he married Barbara was apologetic about testifying but told Adam she had to tell the truth.

"Can you tell us some of the requests that Adam Cartwright made to you?"

"Well, I could, but I don't think it's proper telling what a man does in private."

"You have no choice here. What requests did Adam Cartwright make of you?"

"Well he liked to do it a lot of different ways. Sometimes he made me lean up against the window so anyone walking by could have looked up to see me. He took me on the bed, on a chair, and up against the wall. Is that enough to tell?"

"Did he ever hit you?"

"Well, not exactly."

"Just tell the court what he did."

"He only spanked me a few times. He used his hand or a hairbrush. It stung some at the time, but it never left no bruises or nothing."

"Did he 'take' you as you called it after he spanked you?"

"Oh, yes, he was especially good after that."

"You liked him to hit you?"

"He never did hit me. He spanked me. I didn't think I would like it much, but I did, and it didn't really hurt. He paid well, and when he took me after that, it was always real good for us."

"Some of the other girls said he liked to order them around and ordered them to do particularly demeaning acts. Did he do that with you?"

"Well, he did, but it was all business. I mean he never forced me to do anything. He ordered me to do things, but only what he knew I was willing to do anyways. He always paid well afterwards."

The questions then became far more specific and the answers far more detailed. Adam had his head down staring at the table during all of this questioning. His lawyer tried to stop it with objections, but the prosecutor said they were trying to show what kind of man he was. He heard the snickers, the occasional surprised sigh, and whispers too low to be understood. With those last statements, there was outright laughter. Adam didn't want to turn around to see his father. He could only imagine how embarrassed he was. The judge called a halt to the questioning of that type when his lawyer objected once again. He told the prosecutor that he had established all he needed and to move on. Adam thought he had established all he needed at least two hours previously. He guessed that the judge had actually been curious too and wanted to hear the lurid details.

Next up were witnesses who had seen Adam hit someone. There were enough instances of that to allow the prosecutor to spend another couple of hours laying the foundation for Adam having a hot temper and a willingness to use violence when he was angry. Having laid the basis for Adam being a violent man, the prosecution set the scene for a bloody jealous rage. The fight Adam had in town the night before his wife's body was found stabbed numerous times helped the case immensely. Witnesses were called to testify to the rumors and how the man had baited Adam with them that night. As far as anyone knew, he went home in a rage and killed his wife. The prosecution theory that he calmly went off to work then so that he could come home later and claim an unknown assailant had killed his wife made the jury look over at Adam as if he was a monster and not the helpful, caring man they had known for so long. By the time Matt Galvin testified to what he had found on that morning, Adam's fate was sealed. The only defense Adam had was his own testimony. The jury was not in a mood to believe him. It took less than an hour for them to bring in a guilty verdict. He was scheduled to hang at noon two days later.

The night before the scheduled hanging, Joe came into town dressed in black clothing, a duster, a slouch hat, and with a bandana over his lower face. He rode a horse without a Ponderosa brand, and he had on a two-gun pistol rig. He tried to remember to use his right hand on the reins. He walked into the jail and forced the deputy to unlock the cell. Then he told Adam to go out the back door of the jail. There, he handed Adam a duster and a nondescript hat. Adam mounted up on another horse without the distinctive brand, and the two rode out of town at a gallop. By the time Roy organized a posse, Adam and Joe had an hour's head start. Their knowledge of the countryside helped them widen that gap considerably over the next twenty-four hours. They rode over rocky areas, through streambeds, and through marshy meadows where tracks would disappear in the mud after just a short time. They brushed out their tracks on numerous occasions and dragged brush behind them several times. By the second day, they were well away from town and from the pursuing posse. Their next task was to rendezvous with Hoss so that Joe would have a cover story. They had already told their father they were going hunting because they couldn't bear to be there when Adam went to the gallows. They all knew their father never believed that for a moment, but if questioned, he could only say what he had been told. Roy and the posse as well as most of the town could think they knew what happened, but not one of them had any evidence. Joe and Hoss were all right with that, and in his heart, so was Ben.

That second day of hard riding ended when they smelled wood smoke and headed in that direction. They knew it had to be Hoss letting them know he was there. They found him with a camp already set up with a lean-to and with a quarter of an antelope roasting over a fire. Adam dismounted and walked to Hoss enveloping him in a hug. Joe walked up to the two of them and hugged both. Then he had to say something to lighten the mood.

"Hoss, bet you never thought you would see the day when I could order Adam around, and he'd do exactly what I said."

"Nope, but we got to talk about what we're gonna do next."

Adam wasn't ready for that yet. "How's my boy?"

Joe hadn't said much, but now Adam had to know. Hoss decided to lay it out for him. "He still ain't talking. If he sees something that reminds him of Barbara or you, he starts crying. He won't go anywhere without Pa. He sleeps in a trundle bed in Pa's room at night. It's just as well. He never gets through a night without waking up at least once with nightmares."

"What does Paul say?"

"He says that Jon needs you, but you know it's impossible. That's why Joe and me think we gotta work out a plan with you. We gotta find out who done this and why. Then we can clear you so you can come home."

Dropping down onto a log, Adam stared at the ground. Both Joe and Hoss anticipated what he would say next. "How can I ever go home? I can only imagine what our father thinks of me now. And the people in town will never have respect for me again even if they accept that I didn't do this horrible thing."

Hoss was as direct as only Hoss could be. "Adam, are you embarrassed about those things they said you did with them gals?"

"Of course I am. Anyone would be embarrassed to have their most private behavior out there for everyone else's amusement and entertainment. I can only imagine the stories going around town by now."

"I don't know. I think I was kinda impressed by it all. I might just try a few of those things myself next time unless Julia agrees to marry up with me. After all this, though, I'm not sure she'll ever say yes. She's been putting me off for two years now, so this might be the thing that makes her say no. Ifn she does, I'm gonna go see if I can get a gal to do some of those same things, and you can bet a bunch a men in town is doing the same. Now that's enough of that feeling sorry for yourself. What's the plan?"

Joe sat down next to Adam on the log after carving off a chunk of meat. Hoss did the same after handing a plate of meat to Adam. Then the three talked for hours working out a plan of action. By dawn the next morning, they ate the rest of the antelope and then Hoss and Joe bid Adam farewell and good luck. He rode off with a packhorse to spend some time in the mountains transforming himself. By the time he got to San Francisco to look up Matt Galvin, he wouldn't look like Adam Cartwright any more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Why did you do it?"

The voice coming out of the darkness in Matt Galvin's bedroom and the click of a hammer being pulled back on a pistol that was pressed to his cheek made Matt wet himself. He expected to die right then and there and was ashamed to think what people would say finding him lying in his own filth. Matt was not a brave man nor a particularly smart man, but he knew at that moment he needed to keep his wits about him as well as he was able.

"Why did I do what?"

"Why did you kill Barbara?"

That helped Matt. He was astonished to think that anyone would think he would kill Barbara. "I could never kill her. I loved her once, and regretted for years that I let her become another man's wife. When I went to Virginia City, I didn't know that Barbara had married again. I was paid to go there to see her. That was all."

"Who paid you?"

"A woman came to see me. She said she had a thousand dollars that was mine. All I had to do was go to Virginia City to see Barbara Tyler. She said she wanted to embarrass someone and that would do it. I had no idea that Barbara had married again. I knew her years ago, and I loved her. She knew better than to stay with someone like me. She married Jim Tyler and that was the last I saw of her before I went to Virginia City. I had no idea how my arrival there and my visit to Barbara would be taken. I went to your house that morning to tell her I was leaving. That woman had come to my hotel room the night before to tell me my job was done. She gave me the money she promised. She told me I should go say goodbye to Barbara and apologize for all the trouble I had caused her. When I got to your house, I found Barbara just like I told you and everybody else at the trial. That woman had said that I was to watch the place until you left, and then I was to wait fifteen minutes to be sure you weren't coming back. I did just like she said. Maybe if I hadn't waited, I could have saved her, but she lost so much blood before I got there." Matt thought about what Adam had asked him and suddenly some things became clearer to him. "You didn't kill her, did you? I thought you did, but you didn't. I may not be that smart, but I can tell from the way you talk and what you asked. You didn't kill her. Then who killed her?"

"What did you see exactly when you got to my house?"

"Nothing at first. I thought perhaps that Barbara was out back of the house because I thought I heard a door close back there, but then I heard your son screaming and crying. I ran into the house then and found her. I grabbed some towels that were on the table and I tried to stop the blood, but it was too much. I was too late to help her. I took your son and rode over to your father's house. I could see it in the distance. He thought at first that I killed her, but I explained. We rushed back to your house as soon as he could get someone to watch over your son. He sent someone for the sheriff and someone to look for you, but we had no idea where you had gone. I told the sheriff the direction I saw you ride out, but they couldn't find you."

Adam had ridden hard that day. He wanted to get up to the timber camps, set the orders for the next two weeks, and get home the same day. He longed to spend more time with his wife and son. Instead he came home to find he had lost it all. "What did this woman look like?"

Matt knew then that Adam believed him. He described the woman and her manner of speech. Finally Adam told him that he needed to go to his desk and write all of it down. "Why?"

"Because you are a liability to this woman. With everything she's done, do you think she would hesitate to kill you too?"

"Wait a minute. You think she killed your wife? How could she do that?"

"She set it up perfectly. If it didn't work to make me the suspect, then all suspicion would fall on you. I have a theory as to who it can be, and I have to tell you that she already tried to kill me directly once. She was capable of killing then although she failed, but now she has killed. She has to be very upset at having her plans not work out entirely as she hoped. She won't stop."

Matt was going to turn from his desk to talk to Adam, but he felt the pistol again. "No, don't turn around. Just write it all down, sign it, and date it."

After finishing writing everything he had told Adam, Matt let the ink dry. He had a few questions. "Do you know there's a big reward for you? Aren't you worried about being recognized here?"

"Yes, I knew. Who do you suppose put that money up for the reward? My family wouldn't so that only leaves on likely candidate. I know how to blend in when I have to. No one is going to recognize me here. Now hand over the papers and go back to bed."

"I have to change the sheets first."

"After I leave. For now, slip into the bed and pull the covers over your head. Stay that way until you count to one thousand. I'll probably be gone by then. If you get out of bed before I leave, I'll be forced to shoot you. Is that clear?"

"You'd kill me? But you're no killer."

"I said I'd shoot you. I didn't say I'd kill you, but a well placed bullet to your most private spot could cause you to bleed to death, I suppose."

Matt almost put his hands over his privates, but instead hurried to his bedroom and slipped under the covers. He didn't count to one thousand. He stayed in bed with the covers over his head until he saw the room becoming lighter with the morning sun. He pushed the covers down and peered over the top of them. No one was in his house. He walked through the three rooms of the small house and checked the doors and windows. The doors were still locked and the windows were still latched. He wondered if he had dreamed it all, except when he looked at his fingers, he saw the ink stains. He took a deep breath and went to pack. He would leave town. He had no ties here, and the house was a rental. He heard that Portland was developing some businesses that might be willing to hire him. He booked passage that morning on a ship headed there. A man in a stylish three piece suit with a thick but popular style beard and bowler hat watched him leave before walking into the crowd and disappearing.

Later that day, Adam posted the statement from Matt Galvin to his father on the Ponderosa along with other information he had gathered. The return address was for the San Francisco law firm that did all the contract work for the Ponderosa. Next he picked up a newspaper and checked the ads. Searching, he soon found what he was expecting. A small notice that _the Ponderosa is looking for hands at the usual wages and the usual working conditions. Nothing has changed_. It was the usual method that his family used to communicate with him. Joe and Hoss had found out nothing recently, and Jonathan was still silent and suffering, and there was nothing Adam could do to remedy that. Adam carefully composed a letter, and again he put the return address of their San Francisco lawyers at the top. He needed to meet with his family and to find out if they had discovered any new information. What he had sent them might help them in their quest for knowledge to clear him. Meanwhile, he had a plan for them to meet. His heart ached at not seeing his son although he wasn't sure a short visit would do more harm than good. He would let his father and Doctor Martin decide that. The lawyers had been hired to work on an appeal of his conviction and thus were not allowed to divulge anything he told them. Doctor Martin was covered under patient confidentiality although that one was rather weak. However no one was likely to question the doctor about the father when the doctor was treating a four-year-old although he would soon be five. Adam guessed he would probably be missing that birthday party. He posted his letter and returned to his hotel room with lots of time to think about what he needed to do next.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Before leaving San Francisco, Adam went to the lawyers' office one last time. He asked them to hire some detectives to find out all they could about Eloise Long who had been in St. Louis but probably recently had traveled to Virginia City. Adam gave a description of the young woman that was four years old. He left by the back door of the offices to try to make sure he wasn't being followed. A large bounty on his head made him even more cautious than he would have been. Because as far as the lawyers knew, he wasn't planning any additional crime nor was he a threat to anyone, they had no legal obligation to tell anyone that he had been coming to their offices. However, any pattern of behavior could be a huge mistake for Adam so he resolved that this would be his last visit to these offices looking as he did. He needed to change his appearance once more so with a bit of shopping, he would be ready to leave the city and this persona behind.

After a trip to the bank to get cash in an account set up by his father for him, Adam went shopping. When he returned to his hotel room though, he found the door open and the room in a shambles. Someone was obviously close to finding him. If so, they had undoubtedly seen him enter the hotel. He suspected they would have an accomplice waiting in back. Very quickly, he moved up the stairs to the next floor where he had booked another room under another name but never used. He stripped off the clothing he was wearing and dressed in the new clothing he had purchased. He looked like a cattleman after a successful trip to the city. He stuffed his hair up under his hat and then trimmed his beard. One look in the mirror told him that he still resembled the businessman disguise he had used for many weeks, so he removed his beard. He knew he could grow it back quickly if necessary. He put a pocket pistol in his jacket pocket, a boot pistol in his boot, and strapped on the pistol rig he had purchased. With all three guns loaded and ready for action, he grabbed his new saddlebags and headed out into the hallway. There was a man at the top of the stairs looking down who hardly gave Adam a second look as he walked by. He passed two more men on the way down but they seemed intent on looking up. In the lobby, he spotted one more and assumed there could be more in the back. He was just about to relax as he walked out the front door when a woman's voice screamed out.

"That's him, you fools! Going out the door!"

Bullets plinked into the door just as Adam pushed it open and fled into the crowded street. He ran for three city blocks to where he had a horse ready to go. There were several more shots fired as he ran, but he made it to the horse, mounted up, and rode off as even more shots were fired. He rode hard and left the city to head into the hills. He pushed the horse as hard as he thought he could. After several hours and no signs of pursuit, he slowed to let the horse cool down.

"Sorry, boy." Adam patted the horse's neck. "I never would have done that to you if I had any other choice. You are a magnificent runner even if you're not much to look at. Got you at a good price just for that reason. Liveryman had no idea what a prize he had in you." When they got to a small stream, Adam dismounted and found how close he had come to being killed or apprehended. He stumbled when he dismounted because the heel of one boot had been partially shot off. The day was warm and he had been riding hard so he pulled off his coat as well finding four separate bullet holes in it. The jacket had been unbuttoned and with it billowing because of his gallop out of town, the gunmen had apparently had trouble aiming. Adam looked up to the heavens and sighed. He had been gone from home for three months already. The lawyers thought he had a chance at a new trial, but wanted more than Matt Galvin's statement to try to convince a judge. Adam hoped his family could find out more. The lawyers said he probably needed more to shed a reasonable doubt on his guilt. What Adam missed most was his son. It drove him to find out more every time he thought of how his son must be suffering having lost both parents. He resolved to see him no matter the pain to both of them when they would be forced to separate again. Jon deserved to know his father was alive and loved him.

In the first town Adam entered in his flight from San Francisco, he wondered if there was a telegraph warning the authorities he might be there. The liveryman seemed nervous, and when he took a room at the hotel, the desk clerk also seemed nervous. Adam took a meal in the restaurant where all seemed normal, went to his room to collect his things, and slipped out the back way. He entered the livery stable after it was locked up for the night, saddled his horse, and took him out to a dark alley where he could watch the front of the hotel. He knew he needed sleep, but he needed to know how close the pursuit was as well. He got his answer at dawn when five men and a woman rode up to the hotel. The woman and three men entered the front door as two others went to the back. Adam thought about how easy it would have been to shoot her right there, but then he would be guilty of murder as well as losing any good chance of proving his innocence in his wife's murder. He mounted up and headed out of town. From this point on he knew he would need to be less predictable in his movements.

After a week of riding north instead of east, Adam rode into a small mining town. By the number of tents with false building fronts, he knew it was a relatively new town but old enough to have the things he wanted. He opted for a bath first, dropped his clothing at a laundry, sought out a restaurant that had outrageously high prices but was the only one in town, and ended up at a fancy house. He correctly guessed that there was no hotel in town. His choice was the fancy house or the livery. The livery was a lean-to with piles of straw that was mostly weeds, and the fancy house was more substantially built. He guessed business was good. He had tried to be with a woman to satisfy his needs twice while he was in San Francisco. It hadn't gone well. Being with a woman reminded him of his wife, and when all the other unpleasant memories intruded, he lost his enthusiasm for lovemaking. He hoped it would be more successful this time because he felt a need to be touched and held. He strode into the house finding it better furnished than he had expected. There were miners there and a number of scantily clad women. Most were young enough with soft curves and warm smiles not having been jaded yet by the life they had. He sat at a table and soon had a woman there asking if she could sit on his lap. He politely declined. Another approached him and slid her hands inside his shirt wondering if he would like to go up the stairs with her. He politely declined again. A third woman walked up with a tray holding two glasses and a bottle of rye whisky. She set the tray on the table, sat down, and then poured two drinks. Adam smiled at her.

"What's your name, and don't tell me Monique, or Isabella or some other name you've adopted for the trade?"

Looking at him speculatively, the dark haired woman smiled. "Just plain old Elaine. And what's your name?"

"Adam." Downing the first glass, Adam slid his glass toward her for a refill. He sipped that and asked her how she got to this town.

"Probably the same way you did. I left Circumstances because I had to, made my way as well as I could through Travails, and ended up here in Hope. Now, are you ready to go upstairs, or do you just want to sit here with me and get drunk?"

Standing, Adam offered Elaine his arm and grabbed the whisky bottle as she took the two glasses, and then she tugged him toward the stairs. Once in the room where Elaine lived as well as plied her trade, Adam looked around. The room was far more tastefully done than in most fancy houses. There were several books on a bookshelf as well as newspapers from various locales. He set the bottle on the table next to the two glasses. Elaine stepped up close to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"So, dark and mysterious cowboy, what would you like to do?"

Finding his voice suddenly hoarse, Adam did manage to tell her to undress. He stripped his clothing from his body but watched her too. He motioned to the bed. Elaine backed up and lay down. She had expected to be kissed twice now, but Adam ignored her lips kissing her neck and shoulders as he touched her. And then it happened as it had when he had tried it before. The act of actually having sex with a woman seemed to trigger his memories, and he couldn't do it. Unlike the other ladies, Elaine didn't try to rekindle the fire. Instead, sensing his need, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head to her chest. She held him there even when he began to move as if to leave.

"It's late. No more customers. Just stay here and sleep. I'll stay by your side all night, and we can see what the morning will bring."

Adam had to squeeze his eyes shut to hold back the tears that threatened to spill at her gentle comfort. He hadn't known that it was just that very soothing touch that he craved more than anything. He couldn't hold himself and slide a hand up and down his back as Elaine was doing. He fell asleep not caring what she would charge him for it was worth any price she could set.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

In the morning, Adam woke with an awful taste in his mouth but a soft warm body pressed up against his. Her head lay against his shoulder. She wore no clothing and he began kissing her shoulder to wake her. Finding her willing, he began again to make love expecting to fail as he had done before but instead found himself delighting in the physical sensations. After so many months without release with a woman, it didn't take long before they finished, and then he simply held her and allowed his breathing and heart rate to return to normal.

On the Ponderosa that same morning, Adam's parcel arrived. Ben read through the statement from Matt Galvin. Nodding with some relief that finally there was something to use to help with the appeal, Ben pulled Adam's letter from the package. It wasn't signed, but the penmanship announced as clear as any signature that Adam had penned this letter to his family. He wrote about the young woman he suspected might be behind this plot against him. Her brothers had been sent to Nevada State Prison. One had been killed trying to escape, and the other had died in a typhus epidemic that hit the prison. If Adam was correct in his thinking, she was the last of her family left alive. He did wonder where she could have gotten enough money to do the things she was doing, but that would be up to the detective agency to find out. Meanwhile, he asked in the letter if there was a lady who could help them discover when those rumors about Barbara being involved with Matt Galvin had started, and if possible, who had started them. Ben decided to leave that investigating up to Joe because he could charm any lady any time. He expected Joe and Hoss to be home soon. Neither of them could go to town. Sheriff Roy Coffee had been adamant about that. Ben remembered that conversation.

"Sheriff, we were out hunting. Neither of us could stand the thought of being here when our innocent brother was murdered."

"No one was gonna murder your brother. He was tried, convicted, and sentenced. Now I know you two had something to do with his escape. There is no way I'd believe that you two would go hunting and not be there for your brother. I especially can't believe that you would leave your father here alone to face the grief of losing his oldest son."

"Roy, you don't think I had anything to do with Adam escaping, do you?"

"No, of course I don't, Ben, but these two sons of yours are in it up to their eyeballs, and you know it. You should be standing up for the law instead of covering for these two."

"Roy, Hoss and Joe left and told me they were going hunting. I told them not to do anything stupid. Four days later, they came home with antelope and big horn sheep. I have to believe they were hunting."

"Ben, you know it ain't true though and so does the whole town. There's a lot of people a might riled up about the whole thing too. It don't look good at all when the leading family hereabouts goes against the law. Now I don't believe Adam done it either, but the law is the law."

"Is it the law when an innocent man is convicted of a crime and sentenced to death and no one will take a stand on his behalf?"

"Ben, you coulda got the governor to commute that sentence."

"And see my son die a little each day serving hard time? No, that is not justice, and he was not convicted under any law. He was convicted because people are jealous, because people are judgmental and didn't like his lifestyle, and because it was a woman who was killed. The evidence never supported him killing Barbara. There was enough reasonable doubt in everything that was presented, but the jury made up their minds without paying attention to the evidence."

"Well you can believe what you want to believe, but keep your other two sons out of town till things cool down. There's no way I can guarantee their safety if they come to town. I don't need a riot or a lynch mob. Now maybe some months from now, things will blow over, but for now, stay close to home."

So Ben had stayed close to home too. He spent a lot of time with Jon, but mostly Jon wanted to be with Hoss. He hadn't said a word since his mother had been killed and his father arrested. He hadn't seen Adam at all, and the little boy must have felt like he had been abandoned. He did what he was told to do, ate his meals, took their hands when they walked with him, but there were no smiles, no words, and most disturbing of all, no tears. He seemed like he was a shell of a little boy with none of the heart and soul that had been so apparent before the tragedy that had destroyed his happy life. He wouldn't go in the stable where Sport was still waiting for his master to return. He wouldn't go anywhere near the boxes of stuff that had been packed up from Adam's house and brought to the main house. They had thought familiar things would help, but somehow they hurt instead, so the boxes remained stacked in Adam's old room. Jon had recently started playing with some new toys that Hoss had carved for him. He looked at some old picture books that Joe still had sitting on a shelf in his room. Ben worried that Jon might never recover from what had happened. Without his father, he might never regain the smile he had lost.

Ben wondered if he should say that the packet had been from Adam. He decided to wait for Hoss and Joe to see what they thought about that. Ben needed help understanding part of the letter anyway. At the end of the letter from Adam were references to some of the hunting trips that Adam had taken with Hoss. There was some sort of code there but Ben had no idea what it was. As soon as Hoss and Joe walked in from working on the ranch that day, Ben showed them what Adam had sent.

"Pa, I think Adam wants me to go meet him. I think this reference to reuniting the bear cub with its parent means he wants me to bring Jon to see him."

"Where does he want to meet you?"

"Well these references to the burial ground and such, I think, mean the area around Pyramid Lake where those Paiute were killed back when Winnemucca had Adam held hostage. We hunted near there a few times, and Adam always mentioned the same thing he said here. He called that area 'the graveyard of innocence'. He talks about that here in this part. Nobody reading this would have any idea what he was talking about. But I know."

"Do you think Jon would go with you?"

Hearing the men talking and believing that they had mentioned his father's name, Jon was right behind Ben when he asked that question. Jon reached for Hoss' hand and tugged. He wanted to leave right at that time.

"No, punkin, we can't go now. It'll be dark soon, and it says in here to wait." Taking the letter from his father's desk, Hoss pointed to one part of it. "Your Papa wrote this. He wants to see you, but he said where he would be in seven days. See it says 'when there is no moon, ghosts can meet at the graveyard of innocence'. That's a week from now when there won't be a moon. Can you wait one more week? I know it's a long time, but it won't do no good to get there early. He won't be there."

"Yes."

Ben had tears in his eyes when he heard that one word. It was the first time Jon had said anything for over three months. They had told him that his father was alive but had to travel to be safe. Finally though they could tell him that he would get to see his father. It was what the boy so desperately needed. Hoss reached out his arms, and Jon rushed into them. In a week, they would ride to see Adam, and hopefully have some good news by then because Joe was going to see if he could get some ladies who never believed Adam to be guilty to help him prove it.

Bounty hunters had been monitoring the messages that went to the Ponderosa. The packet from the lawyers in San Francisco had raised their interest. Surreptitiously for several days they watched the Ponderosa for any unusual activity. There wasn't any, and they went back to watching for mail, telegrams, or any other deliveries to the Ponderosa that might mean Adam was back for a visit. By the time Ben, Hoss, and Jon headed out to meet Adam, there were no watchers. Candy had reported back to them two days earlier that the men who had been watching the house had gone back to town. Joe stayed behind to keep in touch with the ladies who were trying to ferret out exactly who had started the rumors that were at the basis of the prosecution allegation that Adam went into a jealous rage over a cheating wife. Ben and Hoss did know the preliminary information that the story had started at the hotel with some guests. They were still trying to find out their identities when Ben and Hoss had to leave in order to make the rendezvous at the prescribed time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Waking in the chill of an early morning in the mountains, Adam felt the press of a warm body against his and smiled. He hadn't been at all sure that this was a good idea, but after a week of traveling together, he was feeling more and more comfortable in her company. She demanded nothing, readily engaged in serious conversation, and made the nights warmer. After he had found out her age, he hadn't touched her again except to sleep beside her at night so the two could share their warmth and be more comfortable. She was letting him decide what their relationship would be and didn't push him to make a decision. He recalled that morning a week earlier as they talked and dressed.

"Adam, what are you running from?" Instantly on guard, Adam had stared at her wondering how much she knew. "You don't need to worry. I don't know anything about you except your first name and that you are a passionate man who needed comfort. I was glad to be able to give that to you. No, everyone here is running away from something. I am. I wish we could all be running to something instead."

"What are you running away from?"

"My father. Now I look back and see that he only meant the best for me, but after what I've done for the last two years, I can't go back home."

In the early morning light, with her face freshly scrubbed and without powder and rouge, she looked so young. Adam had to ask. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen. I started the life when I was sixteen. I ran away with the love of my life who turned out to be only the first huge mistake I had made. I was stuck in a mining camp with no means of surviving. I had only one thing to sell or so I thought. By the time I figured out what else I could have done, I was already stuck with this life."

"Why don't you leave and try some of those other options? You're young enough." In truth Adam was shocked that he had slept with a woman who was barely old enough to make that decision.

"Our boss holds our money for us. I can buy anything I want. I can have anything I want except my freedom. If I walk out that door, I have nothing."

After pulling on his boots, Adam looked at her and thought he knew what that look of hers meant. "You want me to take you with me?"

Anxious because Adam wasn't the first man she had asked, but he did seem like the best bet for escape that she had ever had up to this point in time. "Yes. I won't be a burden, and you already know there are some benefits to being with me."

"No. Don't sell yourself like that. If you truly want to escape this place, then you have to do it with dignity and not by offering your body as payment."

"Would you take me with you if I didn't?"

And Adam knew he would desire her body every moment he was with her, but this situation demanded that he act another way. He didn't want to do this. Every thought he had was how difficult this was going to be, and yet he also knew he was going to do it. "Yes. Pack your things and get ready to travel. I'll talk to your boss and see what I can do about getting you at least some of your money."

"No. I don't want it. It's part of the life I need to leave behind. I'll work hard to earn money some other way, but I don't want that money any more if you'll help me be free."

After packing the things she wanted to take with her, Elaine had taken Adam's arm, and they had walked out of there. At the livery, Adam paid an exorbitant price for an ordinary horse. He bought an old saddle and bridle, and the two of them rode out of town. Adam told her he was going to meet some of his family in the mountains and asked if she wanted to come with him or head out on her own.

"I can give you some money to get started. You can decide where you want to go and what you want to do."

"For now, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay with you. I feel safer that way."

Reminded that she was still very young even though very bright, Adam nodded and turned his horse to head to the Paiute lands. She asked where they were going when he did that. "To the graveyard of innocence up in the mountains on the Nevada side. We won't be going into any towns along the way. I'll hunt for food, and we'll have to sleep on the ground at night. Still want to come with me?"

In answer, she had wheeled her horse to follow after him. A week later, they were camped where Adam expected to see Hoss and hoped that his brother would bring his son too. Elaine still knew nothing of Adam's story. He couldn't trust her enough to tell her at this point. He wondered if Hoss would take her back to the Ponderosa to be a nanny and helper with Jon. It seemed a good compromise, but he hadn't told her what he had in mind yet. One way or another, she was going with Hoss though. He couldn't continue on the run with her along. It was simply too dangerous.

With all those thoughts in his mind, Adam slipped from the bedroll and built up the campfire to chase away the morning chill and to prepare breakfast. He had shot a deer the day before, and they had feasted on venison the night before. Now they had venison for breakfast, and unless Hoss brought some supplies, they would have smoked venison and then venison jerky for the next day or two. After building up the fire and setting the venison closer to the heat, Adam walked off into the trees to take care of his needs. On several mornings, Elaine had been awake when he left to do those things and smiled at him when he left and when he returned. He found that the smile did more for him than anything else. He had made another person happy. When he got back to camp that morning, she had a question.

"Are we traveling today or staying here? I noticed that you cut up a lot of that venison to smoke and some of it will soon be hard enough for jerky if we leave it there all day."

"This is where I expect to meet some of my family. I want you to go back with them when they leave."

"Why? I thought you liked me."

"I do, but I'm on the run, and that's no place for you. You wouldn't be safe, and it would make it harder for me too. I want you to go with my family. You can be a nanny and helper on my family's ranch until you get some money and decide what you want to do next. You'll be safe with my family."

"What are you running from? I asked you once before but you never answered me."

"I was convicted of murder and sentenced to hang." Adam expected her to be shocked and was amazed instead at her reply.

"You didn't do it."

"How could you know I'm not capable of killing someone?"

"Oh, I have no doubt you could kill someone but only in self-defense or to protect another. You could never murder someone. It isn't in your character."

"How could you presume to know that about me after only a week?" Yet inside, Adam felt better knowing that she thought he was innocent even though she knew nothing of what had happened.

"You have had ample opportunity to show your darker side if you have one. You've treated me with respect ever since we met. I just know."

Picking up some venison and putting it on a plate, Adam smiled as he handed it to her. Then he took some for himself and leaned up against a rock to eat. They were quiet as they finished their meal and cleaned up the campsite. Then they went to take care of the horses. Adam pulled the last of the grain from his provisions and fed some to each horse before he led them to a stream for a drink before taking them to a grassy area to let them graze.

About midday, they heard the sounds of riders approaching. Adam signaled to her to get behind some boulders and he grabbed his rifle and stood beside her as Hoss and Ben rode in. Jon was perched in front of Hoss looking all around for his father for Hoss had said they should see him that day. Adam stepped from behind the boulders as Hoss dismounted and set Jon down. The little boy ran as fast as he could to Adam.

"Papa, Papa, you're here!"

Adam enveloped his son in a hug as Jon wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and buried his head against his father. They stayed that way for several minutes as the others had tears in their eyes. Adam had never mentioned to Elaine that he had a son although now she realized she should have guessed that when he said she could be a nanny and helper on his family's ranch. After the long hug, Jon leaned back to take a good look at his father.

"Papa, a bad lady hurt Mama. I tried to stop her, Papa. I did. Mama was crying." Shocked by Jon's statement, Adam looked to his father and brother.

"He never said nothing about it to us, Adam. All he said since it happened was yes when I asked if he wanted to go see you and would he wait a week."

Sitting down then with his son still in his arms, Adam cradled Jon close, introduced Elaine, and told his family what he had found out. Hoss then explained what Joe had been doing and that the detective agency had already contacted them and was in town checking things out.

"It's looking good for a new trial, Adam. It's gonna be in Carson. The lawyers already got the judge to agree that there's too much emotion about all of it in town."

However Ben could contain his curiosity no longer. "Adam, why is Elaine with you?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

After telling a lot of Elaine's story but without his time in her bed of course although Ben and Hoss probably guessed it along the way, Adam asked if Elaine could travel to the Ponderosa with them and stay there to help with Jon for a while. Jon was immediately upset.

"No, Papa come home."

"Jon, I can't. I have to find that bad lady. If I don't, some people are going to hurt me." That upset Jon even more and he started to cry. "Jon, I will do everything I can to be home with you. With all my heart, I love you and I hope it won't be much longer. Elaine needs someone to take care of her. I was hoping you could help with that."

"But I want you to come home."

"I know. I want to come home too, but it's too dangerous for me to do that right now. If Grandpa, and Uncle Joe, and Uncle Hoss can find out more about that bad lady, then I can come home. Right now, I need to keep moving."

Sitting to the side, Elaine was lost in thought. She now understood that Adam had been convicted of killing his wife. With what she had heard from his son though, it was clear that he had not done it. She knew she should go back with his family and tell the authorities what she had heard, but she was already falling in love with Adam and couldn't imagine the pain he must be feeling and how awful it would be when he had to say goodbye to all of them.

With the supplies that Hoss had brought and a sack of food from Hop Sing that Ben had carried on Buck, they ate a wonderful lunch and dinner. Adam spent most of his time with his son. They walked and talked, and then Adam held Jon as the little boy took a nap in the shade of a tree. Ben walked over with a blanket and laid it over Adam's arms that were wrapped around Jon.

"You can sleep too. We'll keep watch."

For the first time in over three months, Adam was able to close his eyes and sleep with no worries. Ben walked back to sit with Elaine and Hoss. He looked over at Elaine leaving no doubt that he wanted to know her story, but his kind expression let her know he wanted to know for his son's sake and not because he was judgmental.

"Adam was a customer. He quickly became a friend. I knew he was concerned about my profession especially at my age. I wanted to leave, and he was willing to help me."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen, and I've been on my own for well over two years already. I'm almost nineteen."

"Do you know how old Adam is?"

"Yes, he told me. He wants me to find someone and have a normal life."

Hoss had just been listening to the interchange but the silence that greeted that made him decide to speak up. "But you're already falling in love with Adam?" Elaine nodded. "He wants you to come with us. What do you want to do?"

"I'd like to stay with Adam, but he says I won't be safe with him. He said that he would be more in harm's way too because he would have to protect me, and that could be used against him." Pausing for just a moment, Elaine had a question for Hoss. "I heard what Jon said when he was first with Adam. Would it help if I told the sheriff or someone what Jon said?"

"Well it would be a sight more believable coming from you than from one of us. We could swear we heard it too, but coming from someone not related to him would probably help a lot. We've been trying to get the prosecution to see that someone else murdered Barbara." Hoss glanced at Ben and had a question. "Pa, don't you think it would be big help to Adam's case?"

"I agree with everything you said Hoss. Yes, it would help a lot."

Looking at both men, there was a big question to which Elaine needed to know the answer. "Knowing what I am, would you allow me to be a nanny and a helper on your ranch?"

"It's really Adam's decision because Jon is his son, but yes, I would trust you." Ben smiled at her to let her know he held no ill feelings toward her because of her previous profession.

Hoss nodded at his father's statement. "We've had quite a few work for us that had a past. Don't matter none if they're good people and do a good job. Adam thinks you're the one for the job, and it's his son. Welcome to the Ponderosa."

Suddenly Elaine wasn't so sure of herself. She had heard of the Ponderosa and the wealthy family who owned it. She didn't know much about them or it, but now she knew that Adam must be a Cartwright, and that must mean that Ben and Hoss were Cartwrights as well. "The Ponderosa? Then you must be the Cartwrights?" Ben and Hoss nodded. "I heard about you and your ranch. How could Adam have been convicted? Didn't he have a good lawyer?"

"He did, but the jury was swayed by things they learned about Adam and choices he has made in his life. They didn't approve especially as it was all made very public. Someone set him up for it too by spreading rumors about his wife and another man. We have proof now that the supposed affair never happened, and that the same person paid that man to come to Virginia City so that there would be the appearance of an affair. He was paid to go out to see Barbara once, and then every day for almost two weeks, he was told to ride out in that direction and not come back for hours. Rumors were started and spread like wildfire. Adam got home from a business trip and walked right into a huge mess."

"Whoever it is must hate him very much."

"We think we know who it is. We have detectives working on the case trying to verify it. Right now she is apparently working with some bounty hunters to try to get Adam. That's why he doesn't think you would be safe with him. I worry that he isn't safe either. As long as he's in these hills, he's probably all right because very few people know these hills like he does. But every time he goes to a town, he's at risk. Meeting us was a risk, but we have a lot of people helping to make sure we were not followed here, and Jon almost desperately needed to see his father."

"Who do you think it is?"

"Perhaps we shouldn't tell you too much. I don't want you to know too much when you talk with the sheriff and the prosecutor. That way, your testimony won't be seen as colored by knowing the story from our perspective. We'll tell you after you make your statement if that's all right."

"What statement?" Adam had awakened and walked over to the group leaving Jon asleep under the tree. He didn't remember Jon sleeping that soundly in the afternoon, but then he thought perhaps this whole ordeal had made it hard for Jon to relax and fall asleep soundly too.

"Elaine heard what Jon said to you when we arrived. Without any previous conversation with you, those were the first words he said in months. He must have been waiting to tell you. Elaine testifying to those words will carry more weight than if it's just me and Hoss."

"I don't want Jon dragged into this though. He needs to be protected from all the ugliness."

"Don't you worry none, older brother. We'll do everything we can to keep that boy safe and healthy. I'm shur glad we brung him along though. This is the best he's been since it all happened."

"It's the best I've been too."

Hoss put a hand on Adam's shoulder and squeezed. "You two are the best medicine for each other. Now, let's get some dinner cooking. I don't want to shrink away to nothing while we're up here. Now you got the meat, so let's get some gravy and potatoes. Hop Sing packed up a pie when we left. He said for number one son."

"He knew you were coming to see me?"

"Adam, he always knows everything. Now, you cut some chunks of that venison for the pot so I can make some gravy. Elaine, you know how to peel potatoes?" With her nod, Hoss pulled some potatoes from his bag of provisions. After Adam cut some meat as Hoss directed, he walked back to sit by Jon because he didn't want him waking and becoming frightened in the strange setting. He need not have worried. Jon awoke to the sounds of Hoss and Elaine preparing dinner. He crawled into Adam's lap immediately and waited quietly for dinner to be ready. After dinner and cleaning up, it was time to prepare for the night. The horses were brought in from grazing, watered, and fed some grain. Then bedrolls were laid down. Adam put Jon's next to his and threw a blanket over both of them. Elaine knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep next to Adam the way they had been so she put her bedroll as close to him as she could and kept the fire at her feet to keep them warm.

In the morning, Elaine was shivering when she awoke. Adam was already up and building the fire up. He saw her shivers and pulled her to her feet wrapping his arms around her. He rubbed her back as he let her snuggle into his jacket which he opened for her. As he felt her shivering subside, he released her and took off his jacket wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Now you'll be cold."

"I wasn't planning to let you keep it. It's just until you warm up some. I should have gotten you a thicker coat before we came up here. I just wasn't thinking. I'm used to people knowing what to wear in the mountains."

"Is Jon warm enough?"

"He was when I crawled out of the bedroll. He's still wearing his coat, and now he has the blanket doubled over him so he should be fine."

The light conversation awakened Ben. He walked to the campfire hoping that there might be some coffee ready.

"Not yet, Pa. I just got up a few minutes before you did. Watch over Jon, will you, while I go down to clean up?" Adam grabbed his kit and headed to the small stream releasing the horses to graze as he did so. Elaine sat by the fire warming herself more.

"I have an extra shirt in my saddlebags. I'll get it for you. It won't warm up for a few hours yet from the feel of it. You can wear it over your jacket, and it will help you be warmer."

"Thank you. All of you are so nice. I had heard stories about you, but apparently none of them are true. People must be jealous to say such negative things about you and your family."

"There's always some of that when you have wealth. We worked hard for what we have, but you would never know it the way some people talk. Now if you'll sit by Jon, I'll get cleaned up too, and bring you that shirt."

Hoss didn't wake until the bacon was cooking. Hop Sing had carefully packed some eggs, and Adam was very pleased with the treat of having eggs for breakfast. Ben dropped a couple of them in the coffee too so Adam could have hardboiled eggs later in the day. Then it was time to go. Adam walked off a little ways to talk with Jon. They saw the little boy put his head down on his father's shoulder, and they could tell that he was sobbing. After a while, Adam walked to his father and handed off Jon to him. Then without a word, he mounted up and rode into the trees disappearing quickly.

Elaine was disappointed. "I thought he would say goodbye."

Hoss walked up and put a hand on her shoulder. "I reckon after that talk with Jon, he wasn't able to say anything. I know he wanted to, but he just couldn't." Hoss voice became hoarse with those statements too. It was all so very hard on them. "It's really been hard on him. I hope that new trial gets scheduled soon so he can come home."

"Hoss, won't that be a big risk. I mean, what if he's found guilty at the second trial?"

"We've talked about that. Pa would get any sentence commuted. Then we'd have to keep on working until we got him cleared. One way or another though, we gotta have that second trial. With what you heard, the judge might think it's enough to call that first one a mistrial. Then we can get going on the second one. I just hope those detectives can track that woman down. We need her in that courtroom."

"Why?" Then Elaine knew. "You want to call her as a witness and get her to admit to some of the things she's done, and if she lies, you have witnesses to prove that she's a liar."

"Now you got it, but don't say it to nobody else. It's our strategy, and if she ever finds out, she disappear and we'll never get Adam cleared. The best thing we got going for us right now is that she wants him so bad, she's hunting him. That keeps her where we can find her. We just gotta find her before it's too late. Now let's get going. The sooner we get out of these hills, the better it's gonna be." Elaine looked confused so Hoss had to explain. "They'll never be able to track Adam from our tracks if we get far enough away from here. We're gonna be riding back and forth over our trail up here from yesterday until even the best trackers will never be able to figure it out at least not before Adam is well on his way. If he gets a day or two ahead of any pursuit, ain't nobody gonna catch up to him. He knows these hills too well."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Woo hoo, Hoss, that is one beautiful woman you brought home." Joe was helping with the horses as Ben went inside with Jon and showed Elaine to a guest room.

"Don't go getting any ideas. That's the lady that Adam wants here to help with Jon. She's gonna be a nanny and a helper." Hoss wanted to let Joe know that Elaine was off limits for the time being at least without giving away too much of what had happened between her and Adam. He had been able to read between the lines and knew where Adam had met Elaine.

"Well, she can be a nanny and a helper, but that doesn't mean she can't help me out some too. Just one look at her, and I'm ready to crawl on my hands and knees to beg her to let me in her bed."

"You know you can't do that. Pa would have your hide if you did that in the house here. Besides, she's got some feelings for Adam."

"Adam? How could she? How old is she anyway?"

"She's eighteen almost nineteen. It don't matter though. She's off limits to you so just keep your pants buttoned up tight."

"He's way too old for her. She's not too young for me though."

"Just leave her alone."

"Since when are you her knight in shining armor? I think it ought to be up to her if she wants to spend some time with me."

"Joe, there's enough trouble for this family right now without you pestering her and making more. Now just back off. You got plenty of ladies you can go pester. By the way, you get anywhere with your detective work?"

"Yes, got a description of the woman who started the stories. She went to the dress shop almost every day for two weeks and gossiped about Barbara and Matt. She was staying at the hotel. Apparently she wore a lot of makeup and that got the ladies real interested in who she might be so they paid close attention to her. She was a lot younger than she tried to act. They figured she was only in her early twenties at best. In the house, I have a couple of sketches of her, and some written descriptions too. I got statements from the ladies about her starting those rumors too."

"Joe, ya done real good. Elaine is gonna make a statement too."

"About what? She wasn't here when it all happened."

"No, but she was there when Jon told Adam that a bad lady hurt his Mama. He said he tried to stop her but he couldn't and that Barbara was crying. It sure shook Adam to the core to hear him say it, and plumb near knocked us on our behinds too."

"Jon's talking?"

"Yup. Seems he needed his Papa so bad. He must have felt awful thinking he lost both his parents. Adam spent a lot of time with him even if the leaving was pretty hard on both of them. Jon's been talking some ever since. He don't say much, but he is talking."

"That's great. It used to make me choke up when he would sit silent and just eat whatever we put on his plate even when we knew he didn't like something. Pa even put those pickles on his plate to try to get him to say something. He hates pickles, but he just ignored them when he ate. It's going to be good to hear the little guy talk."

"Don't push though. Pa doesn't want us to put any pressure on him. He wants him to talk when he wants to talk. He's probably gonna be questioned by a judge, and that's gonna be awful hard on him."

"So, Elaine and Jon have to go to Carson to see the judge?"

"Probably. He's the one we need to convince that Adam ought to get a new trial. He already agreed that if there's a new trial it'll be in Carson so he's already leaning that way. Now we just need to nudge him a little to take that last step."

"Will Adam come back for the trial?"

"He said he would. He knows it's a big risk, but he cain't keep running his whole life and not be here for Jon. Pa thinks that even if he gets convicted again, he can get the sentence commuted so we can keep working to prove he's innocent."

"There's a lot of ifs in that, and they'll be watching him real close this time so nobody can break him out of that jail."

"You been to town yet?"

"Just once to get some barbed wire. Roy gave me the evil eye. He knows I busted Adam out of that jail. He can't prove it though, just like he knows you helped Adam get away, but he can't prove that either."

Finishing with the horses, Hoss and Joe went to the house for dinner. They stopped in the washroom to clean up and entered the house through the kitchen. Jon was talking quietly with Elaine as the two sat in front of the fireplace. Jon was showing her the toy soldiers his father had given him and showed her the books he had gotten from Joe. It was the first time he had played with those soldiers since his mother had been murdered. Adam's promise that he would come home seemed to have energized the little boy. At dinner, Jon didn't say much but he did say please and thank you, and once he said no when his grandfather wanted to put some pickled beets on his plate. Ben had smiled before passing the pickled beets to Hoss. Elaine looked at Ben wondering what that was all about.

"Before Jon wouldn't even say no when I put something on his plate that he doesn't like. He doesn't like anything pickled. He doesn't like anything with vinegar on it. He sneezes anytime he gets too close to something with vinegar."

Up in the Sierras, Adam was sneezing too. He realized he was coming down with a respiratory infection and hoped it would only be his nose and throat that were affected. With the supplies he had gotten from Hoss, he hoped that he would be able to travel through the mountains for a time to stymie those who were following him. Even if they weren't particularly good at tracking, they would eventually catch him if he remained in one spot too long. He needed to keep moving, but by the end of the second day of travel, he hurt all over. He made camp in a sheltered location and hoped to be able to stay there for a few days. That wasn't possible. That night he did his usual surveillance. In the distance, he saw a campfire and correctly assumed it was the group that was pursuing him. He wondered how they had gotten so close after all he had done to cover his tracks. Then a screen was put in place so that he could no longer see the campfire. Then he knew. She had hired an experienced tracker. It was probably one of the Paiute. None of his tricks were good enough to fool a good Paiute scout. He would have to move fast and try to come up with a plan to elude them at least until he could get word on whether he would get a new trial or not. He ate a cold meal, and bedded down for the night as soon as he ate. He planned to be moving at first light. He was on the opposite side of the ridge from his pursuers and would have at least a one or two hour advantage there. He hoped it would be enough.

When Adam awoke in the morning, he was hot. He knew it wasn't because of the air temperature. He did all that he had to do and mounted up to leave. Every step of the horse caused him pain. He wondered how he could possibly elude capture in the state he was in. He remembered a cave that he and Hoss had stumbled upon once when they were hunting. Hopefully the Paiute didn't know about it. He headed directly toward it and hoped it looked just as it had looked all those years ago. He knew it was a last resort, but he also knew that if she was with the pursuing group, he wouldn't live to see jail. He had to take risks in order to survive. As evening approached, Adam reached the cave and relaxed somewhat seeing that it looked as he had hoped. It was overhung with vegetation and no one would know it was there unless they already knew. He approached it warily hoping that no predator had made it into a home. He found what appeared to be signs that a bear may have hibernated there, but there were no recent signs of habitation. He took all of his supplies, bedroll, canteen, and clothing into the cave. Then he did his best to cover all the tracks he had made. Finally he rode the horse about a mile away to a long slope heading toward California. He dismounted in an area of shale, tied the reins to the pommel, and slapped the horse hard on the flank. It ran for a ways and looked back at him. He took his pistol and fired several times into the shale near the horse. It spooked and ran. He watched for a time until he was sure the horse kept on running. Then he slowly walked through the shale and on other rocks until he returned to the cave. He was sure they had heard the pistol shots but they would have no idea what they meant. He carefully worked his way into the cave making sure the vegetation showed no sign of being disturbed. He rolled out his bedroll, drank some water, and said a prayer before falling asleep. His fate was in the hands of lady luck, and he could only hope she would be kind.

The next morning, Adam awoke with a severe headache, sore throat, congestion, and a higher fever than he had the day before. He couldn't allow himself to cough so he choked down each one that threatened. He sipped water and hoped that his precautions had been enough. He assumed his pursuers had to be close, and he wasn't surprised when they rode by his cave in the early morning. He heard them talking.

"He stop here. He walk around. He get water. Then he ride that way."

Adam had to assume that the scout was pointing up the ridge. Then he heard her, and there was no mistaking who it was.

"How long ago?"

"He here one day. He make camp on ridge then because too dark to go more."

"We should catch up to him today then?"

"Yes. Then you pay me?"

"As agreed. When we find him and shoot him down like the dirty cur that he is, then you get paid and not before."

When they dismounted to water their horses, they were only about twenty feet from him. The most nerve-wracking moment was when one of the men relieved himself in the vegetation that covered the cave's entrance. Adam hoped that he had swept up the tracks well enough. He had never thought that someone would stand within a few feet of him and relieve himself. It was so close he could smell it. Luckily the man was more intent on doing what was necessary than he was in being observant. Soon Adam heard them mounting up, and then they moved on. He lay back on his bedroll and waited. If his plan didn't work, they would be back here by the afternoon and nothing he did would make any difference.

Exhausted, he closed his eyes and fell asleep. When he woke, it was nighttime and there were no sounds of any men or horses anywhere near him. He had been drinking water all morning until he fell asleep but he didn't need to pee, which was helpful but caused some worry. He obviously was losing a lot of fluids because of the fever. He still had some water in his canteen and that would have to do. He wouldn't feel safe leaving the cave until the following day. By then, if they had discovered what he had done, there would be no hope for him, and if they hadn't, then they would be many miles away, and he was safe. He drank as much water as he could, and then lay back to rest again. When he awoke in the early morning hours, he was feverish, coughing, and weak from lack of food. But he almost laughed despite all that. It was raining. There was no possible way for them to track him back to this cave now. They could backtrack all they wanted and it was unlikely they would discover him. He knew that by now they must have found his horse, but there were so many places he could be, that they would have to give up and wait for him to be sighted in a town. He was sure now that she had people watching for him. That didn't matter too much at the moment. First he had to get healthy again. Luckily, Hoss' supplies and the venison jerky were probably enough for at least a week. He had water only about twenty feet away. He had time to recuperate. He thought that he might even be able to have a campfire that night to chase away the dampness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Only a few days later, there was a meeting called by the district judge in Carson City. He had the statements from Elaine, Ben, and Hoss about what Jon had said. "Tell me exactly what you remember about what Jonathan Cartwright said when he was reunited with his father."

"A bad lady hurt Mama. I tried to stop her, I did. Mama was crying."

"And Adam Cartwright said nothing to him before that excited utterance?"

"No. He walked out and put his arms out and Jon rushed into his arms. He held him for probably a minute or two, and then Jon said that."

"Very well. That is exactly the way you wrote it in your statement, Miss. Can you tell me how you came to be with Adam Cartwright when he met with his son?"

"Ah, he was a customer of mine. I asked him to help me get out of that town and make a fresh start. He helped me. I only knew him as Adam. I didn't know he was a Cartwright from the Ponderosa until after I met his family. His brother Hoss welcomed me to the Ponderosa when his father agreed that I could have a job as a nanny and helper in the house on their ranch. That was when I realized who he was."

"So he gave you a job, and you like him and feel very grateful to him?"

"Yes, your honor. I do."

"Do you like him so much and are you so grateful that you would lie for him?"

Elaine paused then, and Ben sat with Joe and neither of them was breathing until she answered. So much was riding on the judge believing what she was telling him. "I'm sorry, but I guess I would, Your Honor. I'm sorry to say that, but it's the truth, and I swore to tell the truth. But, Your Honor, I don't have to lie because that is exactly what happened. I didn't add anything to the story."

"Did you want to add something to the story?"

"I did think about doing that to make it sound better, but Adam only asked me to tell you what I heard, so I did. I didn't add anything."

It wasn't a formal hearing. The judge simply wanted a deposition from Elaine. Next he asked if Jon would be brought into his chambers. The bailiff opened the door, and Jon walked in with Hoss. The judge asked Jon to sit on a chair right next to his desk. Then he asked Jon what he had seen but he did so very gently.

"Jon, your grandfather, your uncle, and your nanny have told me that you said you saw what happened to your mother. Jon, I know that must have been awful for you. I heard that you tried to help your mother, and to me that is absolutely amazing in a boy as young as you. It may be very difficult but I think you are a very brave little boy, and I hope you can do this. Can you tell me what happened to your mother?"

Jon looked over at Hoss and then to Ben and then Elaine. He looked back at the judge and watched his face for a little while. "I want my Papa to come home."

"I know you do, Jon. I think your whole family wants that. Now if you could tell me what you saw, that might help bring your father home."

Pursing his lips and breathing rapidly, Jon still wasn't sure until Elaine said something. "Jon, I already told the judge what I heard you say. If you could tell him too, that would be good."

The judge was about to order everyone to be quiet except Jon started talking. "I was in my room. I was supposed to be cleaning up my room, and I wasn't supposed to go downstairs until I got done, but I did because I heard my Mama. She was crying. I went to the kitchen and a bad lady hit my Mama and made her fall. She was bleeding. I grabbed the bad lady's arm but she pushed me away. She said she would kill me too. She took some of our clothes that Mama was folding and she left. I don't know where she went. Then this other man came and said Mama was dead and he took me to Grandpa's house. Where's my Mama? No one will tell me."

"Jon, I'm sure your grandpa has told you. He wouldn't lie to you, now would he?"

Jon started crying then, and the judge signaled to Ben and Hoss to come get him. As Ben soothed Jon, the judge looked over papers on his desk and called the prosecutor and Adam's lawyer to his desk. They whispered for a time, and then stepped back.

"I have a petition here to declare the trial of Adam Cartwright for the murder of his wife to be a mistrial. I am not inclined to do that. I do have a report here with sketches of a woman who started the rumors. It bears a striking resemblance to the pictures I have in the rather extensive report from the Pinkerton Detective Agency on an Eloise Long. I also have a report from the U.S. Marshals Service about an Eloise Long who is working with bounty hunters and trying to apprehend Adam Cartwright. I have a statement from a Matthew Galvin about the woman who hired him, and again there is a remarkable resemblance to the picture of Eloise Long. With what I have heard here this morning, I am not inclined to declare a mistrial. I am setting aside the verdict in that trial. There never was enough evidence to convict Adam Cartwright beyond a reasonable doubt, and opening the door to further prosecution would be ludicrous. I am issuing a bench warrant for Eloise Long for conspiracy to commit murder, the murder of Barbara Cartwright, assault, interstate flight to avoid prosecution, and for obstruction of justice. If you would locate Adam Cartwright, please offer him my sincere apology for the miscarriage of justice that was done to him, and for the emotional harm that was done to his son as a result. Do you know where he is?"

"No, Your Honor, we do not. We have tried to contact him to attend this proceeding but without success." Ben was worried and with good cause.

"All wanted posters and rewards on Adam Cartwright are to be immediately withdrawn. I ask that a notice of my rulings be posted in all newspapers in the region. It's time for that man to come home, and for that woman to be put in jail."

If it was possible to be wildly elated and gravely worried at the same time, then that was what gripped Ben, his sons, and Elaine. Jon asked when his Papa was coming home, and Ben had to say as soon as they could find him. They had put notices in a number of newspapers letting Adam know to send a wire so they could give him information. He had not responded in two days. It was very unlike him. For another day, they worried and then there was a remarkable development. A Paiute rode into the yard of the Ponderosa leading a horse. He asked to speak with Ben Cartwright. When Ben strode out, the man pulled the horse he was leading up next to him.

"This your son's horse. Woman say she pay me to track him. He get away. She not pay. I bring horse you. You pay?"

"Yes, yes, I will pay, but you have to tell me where you found his horse?"

"I show you. You pay first."

By then, Hoss and Joe were outside listening. Ben turned to Hoss and asked him to saddle up their horses. He asked Joe to get some provisions from Hop Sing, and then told the Paiute that he would bring payment from the house. Within minutes, Ben was back with several hundred dollars. He handed one hundred to the Paiute, and told him that he would get an equal amount when he showed them the spot, and another if he helped them search for Adam. Ben then went inside to tell Elaine that they were going to go search for Adam. Jon was taking a nap.

"Take good care of Jon while we're gone, but don't tell him we're searching for his father. He's had too many disappointments already in his life, and I don't want to upset him if we come home without Adam."

Handing over decision making to Candy, the three men set out with the Paiute scout. It took them two days of hard riding to find the place where the bounty hunters had found Adam's horse. Hoss took a look around and asked in what direction they had come on the day when they found the horse. When the scout pointed back up the ridge, Hoss smiled for he had a good idea where Adam had gone to hide. He wheeled his horse and signaled to the others to follow. Several miles away from where the horse was found, there was the hint of wood-smoke in the air. Hoss picked up the pace heading along a small stream that was gently flowing over a gravel bed. Here and there one could see a shadow of a fish darting from cover to cover. When Hoss got to the cave, he yelled out.

"Oh brother, where art thou?"

Stepping from behind some bushes, Adam smiled. He was bearded and his clothing was dirty, but he was alive and safe. Hoss dismounted and grabbed him in a bear hug. "We got great news, older brother. The verdict was set aside. You're free!"

Ben and Joe were soon there and there was hugging and back-slapping until they heard the distinct sound of a rifle being cocked. They looked back and the Paiute scout was smiling but not in a nice way. He had his rifle trained on them. "Drop guns." They had no choice but to comply. Within a few minutes, Eloise Long rode in with several bounty hunters.

"Well, what better way to find a dirty dog than to send the rest of the pack after him."

Hoss and Ben stepped in front of Adam so no one could shoot him down.

"We have a legal right to apprehend him. He's wanted dead or alive. We'll do it either way. It's your call."

Ben hoped to reason with Eloise. She was mean and dangerous but not stupid. "The verdict was set aside. The wanted posters have been withdrawn." They could see that at least two of the bounty hunters were concerned about that. They operated on the fringes of the law frequently but tried not to cross the line. It was hazardous in their profession to end up locked up with men they had apprehended.

"Miss Long, maybe we ought to back off on this. You know we don't cotton to breaking the law. We need to stay within the rules."

"They could be lying. They just want you to think that so they can get him away again."

"I don't know. It sounds like the kind of thing that coulda happened."

Taking advantage of the discussion among his pursuers, Adam ran for the cave. He had firearms there that could help him survive this day. When he ran, there were shots fired in his direction but from horseback and they all missed. His father and brothers used the commotion to grab their weapons. Soon there was a lot of shooting. Two of the bounty hunters quickly decided it wasn't their fight and rode off. The other two, Eloise, and the Paiute scout continued firing. Ben was behind some trees and Hoss and Joe were behind boulders. Adam was the most vulnerable in the cave, but he couldn't be seen so there was no way for them to aim at him. Taking cover behind rocks and trees, Eloise and her group could make no headway against the equally well-concealed Cartwrights. Something had to break the stalemate, and Eloise was the one who came up with the idea once she had realized that Adam had taken cover in a cave.

"Throw down your guns or we'll all fire into that cave. Your son will never survive that."

Hearing Eloise, Adam yelled out to his father not to do it. Them he began to move very quickly. Hoss yelled over to Ben too that they shouldn't drop their weapons. "Pa, Adam will be all right. I know it." The cave curved on the inside. Adam moved to the very back section where the wall of the cave would block any bullets. He couldn't do anything except stand there but hoped they might expend so much ammunition and energy that they would leave. He was surprised then at how it did turn out. A deadly barrage was fired into the cave. A ricochet got Adam in the leg and he cried out but had to remain standing in order to protect himself from any further shots. After he cried out, the gunfire stopped.

"You called it, Cartwright. You can collect his body. That's more than I was able to do for my brothers. We'll be leaving now."

"I don't think so."

Distracted for a moment by the two bounty hunters who wanted the body thinking that they could use it to get the reward, none of them had seen Joe stand up behind them. He had used the firing barrage on the cave to work his way around until he could come up behind the four. "Now it's your turn. Drop your guns." They did, but the Paiute went for his knife. Ben saw it and shot. He fell clutching his stomach. Gut shot, he would die and likely in a very painful slow process. He knew it too and reached again for his knife. Ben fired again and hit him in the chest. The Paiute scout almost looked relieved at the fatal blow. He had died in battle. The two bounty hunters were compliant, but Eloise was thinking of how to escape for she knew that the Cartwrights intended to turn her over to the authorities, and there simply was too much evidence out there against her. Her thought process froze when Hoss stepped into the cave, and brushing the vegetation to the side, helped Adam limp out. Hoss settled him by his campfire and began working on a bandage for the leg as Adam poured water over the shallow wound.

Furious at seeing Adam alive and hardly injured at all, Eloise charged him intending to kill him with a small pocket pistol she pulled from her coat pocket. Adam had no choice but to draw and fire at point-blank range. Ben and Joe couldn't fire without a risk that they might hit Adam instead, and Hoss had his gun holstered and wasn't fast enough. Blood spattered Adam's face and chest from the bullet that tore into Eloise's chest when she was only a few feet from him. Her body landed on him. He quickly pushed her to the side. She grimaced. "I'll see you in hell." Then she groaned and closed her eyes. It was over.

Very late the next day, Jon paused for just a moment to take a good look at the bearded, scruffy man standing in the door before running across the room and jumping into his arms. "Papa, you came home. You came home!" Elaine had tears in her eyes seeing Adam standing there hugging his son. Jon had a few comments to make though. "Papa, you smell bad."

"Yes, I know. I didn't have any clean clothes to wear, and I need a bath." After being spattered with Eloise's blood, Adam had donned the soiled clothing he had worn previously considering the ripe smell to be better than the bloodstains. They hadn't taken any extra time for him to bathe or shave either, as Adam was anxious to get home. Jon rubbed a hand over Adam's chin.

"You need to shave too. I don't like this."

"Yes, I'll go take care of that. Do you want to come with me?" Jon nodded enthusiastically, and Adam limped into the kitchen to greet Hop Sing and ask for a bath.

After seeing Adam limp away, Elaine had to ask why.

"That Paiute led us into a trap. He lied. But Pa shot him, so he got his punishment for trying to get us killed."

"I never should have trusted him, but his story was so convincing, and he had Adam's horse. I guess I wanted it to be true and didn't question it at all."

"Pa, Hoss and I thought the same thing you did. He seemed real friendly. There was no good reason to doubt him."

Elaine still wondered why Adam was limping. "But what happened to Adam. Did he get shot?"

Hoss noted her look of worry and sought to reassure her. "No, he took a ricochet in his leg. It isn't bad. It was only part of a bullet. He'll be fine in a couple of days. It didn't even go in very far, but it's in his shin so he feels it with every step."

"Well he won't be able to take you to the dance on Saturday. Maybe you wouldn't mind going with me." Joe's invitation got a sour look from Hoss, and a stern look from Ben, but Joe ignored them. Elaine seemed unable to answer that question so Hoss stepped in.

"Maybe we ought to let Elaine get settled in a bit more here before we go pushing her to do things, dontcha think so, Pa?" With a look at Joe that included the arched eyebrows, Ben agreed with Hoss.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

For the next week, Joe did his best to become friends with Elaine, but she spent most of her time with Jon, or with Adam and Jon. Joe decided that he ought to talk with Adam about the situation so he asked to work with Adam the first day that he was able to get back to work on the ranch. Ben didn't want Adam to work away from the house until they were sure that all the bounty hunters had gotten the word that he was no longer wanted. Hands were told to watch for any strangers on Ponderosa land and to tell them not only to leave but also to tell them that there was no longer any reward for Adam. So Adam was working the forge that day, which was not normally a job that Joe would willingly share. After working for about an hour with Joe who seemed very nervous about something, Adam had to ask.

"So, are you here as my bodyguard or is there something else you want? I don't need a bodyguard so close to home, so it must be something else."

"Well, I would like to start seeing a bit more of Elaine, and I wondered if you would mind."

Nodding at getting the expected response, Adam thought for a time. "It's really up to her. If you're asking if I'm in love with her, the answer is no. But Joe, I don't think that it's a good idea for you to think that way about Elaine."

"Why not? She's pretty, smart, and close to my age?"

"To be blunt, you do know that she made her living entertaining men?"

"I kinda guessed that, but lots of saloon girls are pretty nice, and it's not like she was sleeping with all those men."

"Joe, she wasn't a saloon girl."

Slowly recognition dawned and showed in Joe's expression. "Aw, why'd you have to go and sleep with her?"

"In my defense, I wasn't planning to sleep with her and ruin all your plans. I only intended to get a quick one and be on my way. Sleeping with her all night and taking her with me the next morning had not been anything I had foreseen."

"So you were with her all the while you two were traveling together?"

"No, I never touched her again that way when I found out how young she was. With all the makeup and the whisky, I had no idea she was that young when I was with her in her bed that one time. If I had known, I wouldn't have."

"Did you have to say it like that? Now I'm going to have that picture in my head every time I look at her."

"I do, and I wish I didn't. Let's get some work done here." And Adam turned away to grab some tools for their next task effectively letting Joe know he would say no more about it. So Joe decided to talk about another topic.

"Jon sure likes Elaine. How long are you planning on having her work here with him?"

It was clear that Jon liked Elaine's attentions. She was teaching him to draw, to read, and to do some basic math. Barbara had started Jon doing those things, but since her death, no one had thought to do that with him. He was curious about things around him, and Elaine had a lot of patience in answering his many questions. He often needed to be shown that his father was still there, but other than that, he was obviously happy spending time with the young woman. Ben watched the two of them and was happy that Jon was returning to the happy, inquisitive little boy he had been before tragedy struck, but Ben worried about the situation. It was clear to him that Elaine had feelings for Adam, but he was treating her like a sister. Ben could see how that hurt Elaine who quite clearly wanted more of a relationship. Hoss had noticed all of that too and spoken with his father about what they should do.

"Hoss, we can't dictate how Adam feels. He certainly likes her, and she's doing a very good job with Jon. We'll just have to see how this plays out. Adam hasn't gone to town or anywhere else for that matter. Everything is still pretty raw for him. It isn't just the loss of Barbara. The revelations at his trial following the loss of his wife so tragically hit him hard. The stress of being on the run just trying to survive had to be an unbelievable strain especially not seeing his son all that time. He needs some time to heal all of that. I don't think he's ready for a relationship like the one Elaine wants."

When Joe asked Adam that question, he wasn't ready with an answer because he didn't have any idea what he wanted. All he could say was brief. "Jon starts school in about a year from now. I don't know. Maybe until then."

"You going to move back into your house or just live here?"

That question was one that Adam could answer. "I'll live here. I haven't even been able to go over there to collect my things. I know it would make me remember Barbara, and it's just so difficult." Adam's voice had gotten hoarse as emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He turned to the forge grabbing the metal and hammering it on the anvil for some time before reheating it and hammering again. Joe knew to let him alone at that point and simple got more supplies and put more metal pieces into the forge. They were making barrel hoops for small and medium barrels. The ranch had saved a lot of money over the years because Hoss and Adam had learned to make barrels. Coopers were hard to find in the west and could charge a premium price. But both Adam and Hoss could make the staves, hoops, heads, and even rivets if needed to complete a barrel.

Elaine walked out with Jon on one of his trips to reassure himself that his father was still there. The two brothers were very impressive working shirtless in the cool air. Adam's shirt hung over the corral fence, and Joe had his hung up on a hook by the forge. Joe's chest was shiny with sweat and accentuated his muscular build, but it was Adam's chest with the hair glistening in the sun that made Elaine tingle low in her belly at the sight of him. She hadn't seen him like that since the first morning they had been together. Now she got gentle hugs but nothing more intimate than that. She wondered about his feelings for her and if he even had any. Jon tugged at her hand though wanting to get closer to see what his father was doing. When Jon got within about ten feet, Adam told him that was close enough.

"Sparks and even shards can fly out from what I'm doing so it's best if you watch from a safe distance."

"What are you doing, Papa?"

"We're making hoops for barrels. Your Uncle Hoss made a bunch of staves and heads while I was gone, and now we need to make the hoops so we can put the barrels together."

"You can make a barrel?"

"Yes, we can. Joe, why don't you grab the pieces for the small barrel Hop Sing wanted. The hoops are cool now so we can fit it together." Within a few minutes, Adam and Joe had put the small barrel together. It was quite a bit easier than the larger ones but both Jon and Elaine were impressed with their skill. "That one was easy because Hoss already had fitted all the pieces perfectly. The larger ones will be more difficult as we still have to carve the edges of the staves so that they all fit tightly together." Tipping the cask on its side, Adam took a drill and drilled a hole. Jon had another question.

"Why did you make a hole in your barrel? Won't everything leak out now?"

"No. This is a bung hole. I'll make a cork for it to hold everything inside, but that's the hole that Hop Sing needs to put something into the barrel. Then later, he can remove the cork to pour it out. Would you like to take this to Hop Sing? He's been asking when we would get it done."

Jon was so proud to carry the small barrel to the kitchen. Elaine walked with him to make sure he didn't drop it on his toes. With lust in his eyes, Joe watched Elaine walk away.

"That is one fine woman. If you don't want her, just let me know. I'll be on that like a bee on honey."

"Joe, get your mind off of that. Let's get back to work."

Joe picked up more staves and began carving the edges as Adam pounded away on the hoop they needed. Both would have been surprised probably that Elaine had been having similar thoughts except she was thinking about Adam making love to her and kissing her. As she thought about it later, she realized he had never kissed her. That first night when he had been in her bed, he had kissed her neck, and quite a bit of the rest of her but never kissed her lips. She wondered why, and decided that she needed to have a serious conversation with him.

That evening, there were several serious conversations between Adam and members of his family so there was no opportunity for Elaine to talk with him. Hoss and Joe volunteered to go to Adam's house to get anything he wanted.

"You just make us a list, older brother, and Joe and me will go get it all."

Since coming home, Adam had visited Barbara's grave several times already, and he had ridden up on a hill to look at his house but had not ventured any closer. Doing just those two things had caused him to sob in his grief and loneliness. He couldn't even imagine himself walking through that door into the kitchen and seeing where his wife had died. Ben had gotten all of Jon's things from the house, and he and Hop Sing had scrubbed that kitchen floor until no one could see where the blood had stained the floorboards. When Adam had returned, Ben had gone to the house with Hoss and they had brought his clothing and books as well as a few personal possessions to the main house. There was still quite a lot of his property in the house, and as yet, they didn't know what to do with it or with the house. Adam sat down and wrote a list for Hoss adding to it as the night progressed until he could think of nothing more he wanted at that time. When only Ben and Adam remained downstairs and everyone else was in their beds, Ben asked Adam how he was doing. Adam dropped his head and thought a moment before answering.

"All right, and a lot better than I was two weeks ago. If I haven't thanked you enough for everything you did, it's just that I cannot begin to express my gratitude with mere words. You gave me my life again."

"What happened to you wasn't your fault at all. We had to do what we did. You're my son. Know that I would do all of that and ten times more if I had to. Will you go to church services with us this Sunday?"

"I don't think I want to face that yet."

"Are you still upset about those things that were said about you in the trial?" At Adam's nod, Ben continued. "Adam, you made some choices different than I would have made, but those girls said you never forced them to do anything and even when someone was reluctant, you didn't push. A lot of the men in the courtroom probably had done the things that you did or wished they had. You broke no laws and hurt no one. I doubt anyone is going to say anything. Just like you, a lot of people want to put this behind them and forget about it."

"But there are some people who did things that I find it hard to forget."

Thinking only briefly, Ben knew one that must be weighing heavily on Adam's mind. "Roy was only upset that we didn't use the law. He knows Joe broke you out of jail and Hoss helped you to escape in those hills. He wanted me to get the sentence commuted so we could work within the law to free you. He didn't want you to hang."

"Hard to look at it that way from my side. I always counted Roy as a friend. With all that happened, I don't think I can do that any more."

"Roy is resigning as sheriff." Shocked at that news, Adam looked up. "As soon as they can have an election, he's stepping down. Most of us assume Clem will win the election and be the next sheriff."

"Why?"

"He said that he was ready to step down, but you got arrested, tried, and convicted. He wasn't going to quit then. He said he wanted to do everything in his power to help you. He could have made an issue out of what he knows Joe and Hoss did, but he dropped it. He is your friend, Adam, but he was in an impossible position."

As Ben sat there, Adam assumed that he had one more topic to broach. "I don't know how I feel about Elaine. If she could stay here and be Jon's nanny and helper, that would be fine with me. I'm rather sure though that she wants more of me, and I can't give her any more right now, and maybe not ever."

Knowing that Adam had a lot of thinking to do about those topics they had discussed briefly, Ben stood and crossed to where Adam was sitting. He put a hand on his son's shoulder and squeezed gently. Then he bid him goodnight and went to bed where he was sure he would sleep far more soundly than Adam.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

On Sunday, Adam woke early and dressed in his Sunday best. Hoss and Joe had retrieved the rest of his clothing and belongings. The furniture, Barbara's things, and everything in the kitchen were still at Adam's house. He was having trouble deciding what to do about all of it. He wanted to keep some of Barbara's things to give to Jon when he was older. Adam knew his son would likely not remember his mother other than as a shadowy figure from his past involved in a traumatic event that was indelibly imprinted on the boy's mind. But he wanted to be able to give his son some things that had belonged to his mother. Adam assumed that someday, the jewelry he had gifted to his wife would be worn by a daughter-in-law and become family heirlooms. For now, they were stored away in his closet for he couldn't bear to look at them. He pulled out a tie and remembered how Barbara would redo them for him because she said he always made them lopsided. He tried to do it the way she had done it, but it looked like it always did when he tied it. Then he headed to Jon's room to be sure he was dressed properly for church. Jon greeted his father with a big smile. He loved being with his father, and this trip to church was one more step on getting back to normal. Jon liked singing and he especially liked singing when his father was singing with him. So he thought he had a wonderful time coming up when he could be with his father and sing. When they got downstairs, Adam noted that Elaine was dressed in her everyday dress.

"Miss Lainy, are you coming to church with us?"

"No, Jon, that's a time for family. I'll be here when you get home."

"Aren't you part of the family?"

"No, Jon, I work for your family. They pay me to take care of you and be with you during the day."

"Miss Lainy, don't you like me?"

"Jon, I like you more than anyone in the whole world. You know that, don't you?"

"Then why do they have to pay you to be with me? I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend, but I have to save up some money to go out on my own when you don't need me any more."

"But Papa needs you. My Mama went away so he needs you."

Watching Adam as Jon talked, Ben could see the pain on his face. It was clear that Adam had uncharacteristically been caught at a loss for words. Ben decided to help him out.

"Jon, we need to get going so we aren't late for church. Now Miss Elaine will be here when you get back and for quite a while so you don't need to worry. And your Papa will be fine no matter what happens."

"But Papa is sad sometimes. He cries." At Ben's look of surprise, Jon explained. "He cries inside but the tears leak out. He doesn't cry out loud like me. But I see Papa's tears sometimes. Uncle Hoss told me when that happens, somebody is crying inside."

All of it had made Adam on edge. "Can we just go and forget about this conversation?"

"Adam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Elaine could see that he was upset and that bothered her a great deal.

"Listen, I don't want to talk about it. Can we just drop this and get going?" He grabbed his hat and reached for Jon's hand. Jon could see that his father was upset so he remained silent as he walked outside with him.

Near tears, Elaine watched them go. She wished she could make things better but knew that the time wasn't right. Hoss came up beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't let it get to you too much. Things ain't settled down around here yet. Things'll get better. Ya just gotta give it more time. Maybe next week you could go with us to church. It sure would make Jon and Pa happy."

"And Adam?"

"Just give it more time. He'll come around, I think, but he needs more time."

"Thank you, Hoss. You always seem to know just what to say to help someone."

Hoss was a little embarrassed by that and shrugged. He walked out with Joe then who had a question for him. "You think Adam will fall in love with Elaine?"

"Joe, I think he already started, but he just don't know it yet, and you know how stubborn our oldest brother can be. Plus he still loves Barbara and he has to get that all straight in his head first."

"It's less than six months. Isn't that a little soon to be looking at another woman?"

"There's no timetable for it. He loved Barbara. Everybody knows that. He's got a lot of sorrow in his heart that she's gone. But he's alive and smart enough to know that he needs to take care of himself so he can take care of Jon. If Elaine is the right one for that, he'll know."

"But there's what she used to do, and her age, and stuff like that too. Is he supposed to just ignore all of that?"

"Ain't none of us perfect, Joe. He knows that. It don't matter so much what we done. What matters is what we're doing now. And we need to get going if we're gonna catch up to the carriage."

Ben and Adam were in the carriage with Jon. Adam had a fair idea why his brothers were lagging behind. He assumed they were talking about him. On the one hand, he didn't like knowing that, but on the other hand, he wished they could figure things out for him and tell him what to do. His father looked over at him several times as they rode on, and Jon was watching him too to see if he would smile again or if his anger was still there. Ben reached over and took the reins from Adam's hands. "You have too much on your mind to do this. Let me, and you talk with your son. He's a bit upset with what happened."

Wrapping his arm around Jon, Adam didn't say anything until he felt his son relax against him. "I'm sorry if I sounded angry before. I wasn't upset with you or anyone else. There's just so much going on. I would like to have a day where I don't have to have any serious conversations. Maybe just a day to have fun and relax. We can sing in church, and then on the ride home, maybe we can get Grandpa to sing a few rounds with us. How about a trip to the lake after lunch? We could skip stones and maybe even do a little fishing."

"Can Miss Lainy go with us?"

Ben chuckled and looked over to see his son shake his head. "He is persistent. I wonder where he gets that from?" Then he chuckled again at Adam's look. "You were a lot that way when we first met Inger. I guess he comes by it naturally."

"Oh, and where did I get it from?"

"Your mother, of course."

Then Adam did laugh, which felt good and made all of them relax. About that time Joe and Hoss caught up with them and were relieved to hear the laughing.

"What's so dadblamed funny?"

"Oh, nothing much. We were just telling stories about you and that whale you saw in the lake."

"Now, dadburnit, how was I to know Mrs. Reinders was swimming in that confounded contraption she calls a bathing dress. She did look like a whale when that whole thing puffed up with air when she tried to swim. Besides, I was only seventeen at the time. How was I to know any different?"

"Uncle Hoss thought a lady was a whale? Papa, that's funny."

"Did I tell you about the time he thought he saw some leprechauns?"

"No. What are leparicons?"

So Adam regaled the family with the story of Hoss and the leprechauns embellishing liberally as he went until Jon was laughing so hard he couldn't sit up by himself. Adam pulled him onto his lap to finish the story of Hoss getting his pants pulled down and then finding that Professor McCarty was the scoundrel behind the whole thing. By the time they arrived in the churchyard, everyone was in a jovial mood. Adam was sensitive to the people who turned away to whisper to their neighbor and a few who turned their backs and walked to the church without acknowledging his arrival, but the great majority of people came up to greet him and his family, and to say how sorry they were that he was treated so badly. By the time they walked into the church and took their seats, Adam had relaxed considerably. Things had gone much better than he had expected. They did sing rounds on the way home, and Elaine heard them coming with all five voices singing loudly. She smiled knowing that everything had to have gone well for them all to be in such a jovial mood. When Adam walked in, it was as if all the earlier tension was gone. He asked Hop Sing for a lunch, and asked Elaine if she would go with them to the lake as Jon's guest. He smiled, but she knew the message had been that he was not inviting her to be with him but to be with Jon. She hoped that when Jon took a nap, she and Adam could talk, and she got her wish although she might have wished for something else by the time they finished their conversation.

"Why don't you kiss me?" Elaine decided to get to the heart of the matter immediately. She wrapped her arms around Adam's waist and pressed herself against him. "Don't you want me?" She actually did know the answer to that part. "You have touched me so intimately but never kissed me. Why is that?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Kissing won't hurt me."

"But it would be meaningless. When you kiss someone, it means that you care deeply about them. At least I do. If I pull a woman into my arms and kiss her, that's a commitment of sorts. It shows a depth of emotion that cannot be denied."

Backing away from Adam just a bit, Elaine was afraid to ask the next question but knew she had to know. "A kiss means that you care for someone and perhaps even love them, but you don't feel that way about me?" His lack of an answer was enough of a response. "When I met you, you were on the run. What are you running away from now?"

"I'm not running from anything. I'm just where I want to be."

"Alone. Is that really the where you want to be?"

"I still love Barbara. I can't love someone else. It's not even six months yet since I lost her."

"Your father could tell you something about that. You'll always love Barbara, but she's your past. Are you going to let that be your present and your future too?"

"You're eighteen and ready to lecture me about how to live my life?"

"I'm nineteen."

"You had a birthday? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I'm only an employee and not a member of the family as you are so quick to explain to anyone who asks."

"I'm sorry if you want more and I can't give it to you. Joe would like to spend time with you if you want a member of the family to fall in love with you."

"You don't get to pass me around like you own me. It's you I want, and if you ever decide that you want me, be sure to tell me. Until then, I'll leave you alone and concentrate on my job. At least Jon knows who he loves and who he wants."

"Whom." Adam smiled and tried to lighten the mood but failed. He could see how hurt Elaine was but wasn't ready to do anything to comfort her and give her the wrong idea about his feelings for her. He wanted her to think of her future and being with a man with a dark side, a soiled past, and twice her age was not how he saw her future even if she did. He felt she was looking at him through rose colored glasses because he had rescued her and because he had been in such dire straits when she met him. He didn't think she truly loved him but had mistaken sympathy, empathy, and gratitude for love. He couldn't say those things to her because he knew she would be hurt, and that would bother him as much as or even more than it bothered her.

When Jon awakened, the mood had changed. He asked if they were mad at him, and both reassured him that was not the case and made an effort to make the rest of the afternoon be pleasant. As they drove back, Adam told Jon that Elaine had had a birthday and they needed to celebrate. Jon was excited to get home and share that news. Hop Sing always made a special dinner on Sunday evening, but he added candles and red frosting piped around the edges of the cake to make it more festive and for good luck. The mood in the house was jovial, but Ben noticed the looks that Adam and Elaine gave each other and knew that there was something wrong between the two of them. Again that night he stayed up until everyone was in bed knowing that Adam was usually the last to retire for the evening.

"Everything go all right on your picnic?"

Knowing his father already had the answer to that one, Adam said nothing. He waited to hear what his father really wanted to know.

"Have you two sorted out your feelings about each other?"

"We have, and Elaine didn't like the truth."

"The truth, or what you want the truth to be?" Adam waited because he wasn't sure what his father meant by that. "It's not a betrayal of Barbara if you love again. I loved all three of my wives and never stopped loving any one of them. You can keep your love of Barbara and open your heart to someone else too."

"I know that. It just isn't Elaine. She's too young and needs to find a young man."

"She's young in years, but she's lived a lifetime in the last few years. She's much older in some ways than other women her age. A boy of nineteen years could never hold her interest."

"Pa, it's just too soon. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."

As he watched his oldest son trudge up the stairs, Ben knew his tread would have been lighter if he had been honest with himself. Adam knew it too because he was in love with Elaine but trying to make that not be true. Adam was on the run again, but this time, he was running away from himself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Checkmate!"

"How did you get so good at this so fast?"

Because Adam didn't want to spend time alone with Elaine, she found ways to get his attention when everyone was there. One way had been to get him to teach her to play chess. When Adam wasn't around, she had practiced with Jon who was also learning the game. Eventually she played with Joe and then with Ben as her skills improved. She even found that Candy enjoyed chess and had a few matches with him on Sunday mornings when the family went to church. She didn't want to admit that to Adam, but the smirks from his family let him know that her answer wasn't the entire story.

"I'm smart. I learn fast."

It was late so Joe declared that he was turning in. He kissed Elaine on the cheek as he went by and congratulated her on her win. She gave him a smile and a kiss on the cheek in return. Hoss came by next and gave her a hug with his congratulations and got a hug back as well as a smile. These types of things happened a lot, and they stirred pangs of jealousy in Adam although he wouldn't let it show, but the slight narrowing of the eyes or sometimes the raised brow let all of them know that it was getting to him especially because there were no kisses on the cheek for him and no hugs. He had said he didn't want a relationship with Elaine other than as his son's nanny and helper and she was holding to the letter of that.

The next day, Hoss took Elaine with him when he went to town. She was going to the dressmaker's and he had a list of supplies to get. It would likely take her a lot longer than him to complete the task, so Hoss went to see Julia. He hadn't seen her much since her sister had been killed. He wondered what she was thinking and how she was feeling especially about him. He had good news to tell her about her nephew so that gave him a good excuse to stop by her house without an invitation.

Adam heard them return. He was working in the tack room but no one could mistake the booming laugh that Hoss had and the gentle laughter that belonged to Elaine. They appeared to be in a jovial mood, and once again, Adam felt jealous. He told himself he shouldn't and that it was a good thing that Elaine was able to make friends with his brothers and his father, but in truth, he was jealous and couldn't help himself. All he could do was hide his feelings, and he was quite good at that he thought. Jon was sitting with Adam and asked if he could go see Hoss and Elaine. He hoped they had bought him some peppermint sticks. Hoss usually remembered that he liked them. In just a few minutes, Jon was back with a peppermint stick and a small bag he handed to Adam. Inside were butterscotch hard candies, which were his favorite. He hoped Hoss had bought them, but Jon caused him to doubt that.

"Miss Lainy told me to give these to you. She said I can have a peppermint stick now and one after dinner if I eat a good meal. Papa, why does everybody always watch what I eat? I don't tell them what to eat."

"You're a growing boy, and we want you to grow up healthy so we have to teach you what to eat."

"Uncle Hoss always says he's a growing boy too."

"Your Uncle Hoss is a very funny man. Ask him about that sometime." Smiling, Adam kept on working because he knew that Jon would ask him, and he could only hope it was at the most inopportune time. Jon did seem to have a knack for doing that. Just after that, Elaine walked into the tack room.

"I hope you like your candy treat. I thought I remembered you saying that those were your favorites so when I bought the peppermint sticks for Jon, I got a couple for you."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I thought we were at least friends, and friends do those kind of things for each other. You could have just said thank you instead of making a fuss about it."

"I'm sorry. Thank you." And Adam was frustrated once again. She had a way of doing that to him. Being lectured on friendship and knowing that she was correct irritated him so the apology and the thank you were surly. Jon looked up at him.

"Papa, why are you mad at Miss Lainy? She brought you candies. Don't you like them?"

"Yes, I like them, and I am not mad."

"You sound mad."

"Well, I'll go and let you explain it to Jon." With that, Elaine left, but she was smiling. Just like Hoss had advised her. She had gotten under his skin one more time. She knew he cared because he wouldn't be so frustrated if he didn't. Like Hoss, Ben had advised her to be patient. It was difficult, but situations like this provided some relief. Hoss grinned when he saw her come out of the tack room. As they walked to the house, Hoss had to ask.

"Did he get that look like he's gonna blow, but he was keeping it all bottled up inside?"

"Yes, just like you said. Now when he sees my new dress and that I'm going to the Harvest Ball with Joe, you think he's going to finally break down and admit he likes me?"

"I don't know. He can be pretty darn stubborn. But it's gonna make him crazy. I know that. Sooner or later, he's gonna have to admit how he feels."

"And you're sure Joe understands that I don't have any feelings for him other than being his friend?"

"Yup. I talked with him just to be sure. He thinks a lot of ladies are gonna be jealous of you and try to win him away from you. He's looking forward to all the attention he thinks he's going to get, and he probably will."

"Joe does like the attention of lots of women, doesn't he? He's not ready to settle down with just one no matter how much he thinks he is. Adam isn't ready either."

"Oh, he's ready, but he doesn't think he is. You're playing chess and giving him a real fight. I was tickled pink last night when you beat him. You're reading his books and talking about em. I think you won't have to do that much longer."

Elaine looked surprised at that comment. "But I like doing those things."

"You do?" At Elaine's nod, Hoss smiled again. "You two are meant for each other. I ain't ever known a woman before who liked to play chess and read all them books like he does. Soon you'll be drawing pictures and designing stuff too."

"Oh, I love to draw. I did that a lot when I was younger. I haven't had much of a chance lately except to help Jon."

"Hot diggity, this just keeps getting better and better. I'll see if I can get more paper so you can draw too when Jon draws. Adam is bound to have something to say about that."

That Saturday afternoon when Hoss and Joe were cleaned up and ready to go to the Harvest Ball, they asked Adam if he was going. Adam walked outside as they walked outside to go get the carriage ready. He said he wasn't going to the dance.

"Why not? You go to church and that's it. You haven't been to town other than that since you got home." Joe was as direct as he could be, but Adam didn't seem to care. "What are you afraid of? Folks already let you know that they're sorry, and that they want you back in town like before, so what's the problem?"

"Going to town is what got me in that mess. If I hadn't been there the first time when Johnny Long got killed, none of this would have happened. If I hadn't gone to a fancy house, they wouldn't have been able to throw my private life out there to convince a jury that I was some kind of immoral bastard. It was in town that I got into all the fights that they used to convict me by making the jury think I couldn't control myself. I need to be here for Jon, and going to town could put that in jeopardy. There's nothing there I need. Is that enough of an explanation for you?"

"Geez, Adam, that was a speech. It was also a pile of cowpies. That jury should never have convicted you in the first place, and the whole thing was set up by Eloise Long. That could happen to anyone whether they go to town or not if somebody is out to get them."

"But it happened to me, and I have a right to do my best to protect myself from it happening again."

"So, you going to become a hermit? Hide out here on the ranch until you die?"

"I'm not a hermit. Maybe I'll play a game of chess tonight with Elaine."

"Well, you can't do that. Elaine is coming to the dance with me."

That caught Adam completely off guard. "With you, but I thought, oh hell, what difference does it matter what I thought." He walked back into the house then slamming the door behind him.

"Ya laid it on pretty thick, Joe."

"Yeah, but I wanted to get a rise out of him, and that hasn't been easy to do lately. He's wound up tighter than a watch. He hardly ever lets loose with anything except when he plays with Jon. It just isn't natural for Adam to be so calm."

"I know, Joe. It does seem weird for him not to lose his temper once in a while. Heck, he ain't even argued with Pa over anything since he got back. Ya think instead of a watch, he might be like a keg of powder? When there's just the right spark, he's gonna explode?"

"I don't know, but I hope me taking Elaine to the dance isn't that spark. It sounded like such a good idea when you thought of it. Now I'm not so sure."

"Well, it's too late now. Wait till he gets a good look at her in that new dress."

"That good?"

"You ain't gonna believe it. She's a real beauty. I can see why Adam picked her over any other women who mighta been in that fancy house."

"Hoss, don't say that. Somebody might hear you out here. Nobody here knows her background except us and that judge and the lawyers who were there in Carson. We need to keep it that way."

"Joe, what do you suppose is gonna happen if somebody recognizes her and says something?"

"Hoss, you mentioned a keg of powder and the right spark. I hope it doesn't ever happen cause that could be that spark."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to be the poor fool who says something like that about Elaine when Adam might hear."

In the house, Elaine came down the stairs in her new dress. The dark green set off her dark hair very well as well as showing her curves. She had her hair up with tendrils of curls next to her face. Jon was getting a game of chess from his father and stood up in amazement when he saw her.

"Miss Lainy, you're real pretty. Isn't she pretty, Papa?"

"Yes, Elaine is a beautiful young woman. She's going to the dance with your Uncle Joe."

"Why aren't you taking her to the dance?"

"Because apparently Uncle Joe asked her to go with him."

Further discussion was forestalled when Joe and Hoss entered the house to see if Elaine was ready to go. Both whistled in appreciation and got a stern look from their father. Joe offered his arm, and the three left talking and smiling. They were going to stop and pick up Julia when they got to town. For the rest of the night, Adam was relatively quiet answering questions but not offering anything. Ben knew that Adam was questioning himself again and didn't push. After Jon went to bed, Adam went out onto the porch. Ben left him there with his thoughts an hour later and went to bed himself. When Joe and Hoss returned later with Elaine, Adam was sitting in the dark at the end of the porch. Joe and Elaine never saw him as they went inside. Hoss walked up with a lantern later after taking care of the horse and carriage.

"What you doing out here?"

"Thinking."

"Anything you care to share?"

"Nope."

"Elaine was the hit of the dance. She got to dance with all sorts of men, and the gals were jealous just like Joe predicted. Musta been a dozen of em trying to impress him and get him away from Elaine's side. He played it up real good."

"Did you and Julia have a good time?"

"Yes, we did. She wants to come out for a visit sometime to see Jon. She wishes you would bring him to town sometime to visit her. I told her why you wouldn't. She didn't seem to like it much."

"Not my problem."

"No, nothing seems to be your problem lately. Well, good night. Oh, you going to church with us in the morning? Elaine said she would go with us this time."

"I don't know." Hoss left then, and Adam sat there for another hour before going to his room to toss and turn for a few hours before it was time to get up. He dreamed of Elaine in that beautiful green dress when he did sleep. When he woke in the morning, he felt like he had never been to bed. He was grateful at least that it was Sunday, and he had no work to do.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The next morning at breakfast, Adam looked like he hadn't slept at all. Hoss gave Joe a look and the two of them smirked. They had meant to stir things up with Adam and apparently had succeeded. Ben saw the looks and realized they had been scheming again. He hoped it worked out better than it usually did with the two of them. Elaine didn't know that they had planned to get Adam worried and upset.

"Are you feeling all right, Adam?"

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, Elaine, until he falls flat on his face, he's always fine. Never met anyone so sure he was never sick until he couldn't walk."

"Thanks, Hoss, I just love being the topic of conversation around the breakfast table."

"Papa, are you mad again?"

"I am not mad."

"You sound mad."

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Adam tried to soften his tone. "I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't get enough sleep last night I guess, and I'm just a bit cranky."

"A bit cranky. That's like saying a tornado is kinda windy."

"Thanks, Joe. Always good to have some brotherly support."

"That's enough. It's Sunday, and we're going to church. I expect everyone to keep a civil tongue around my table."

Normally that might have gotten a rise out of Adam, but he held his tongue because he didn't want to get into an argument in front of his son. As soon as he could, Adam went to the stable to get the carriage ready. He helped Jon up onto the front seat and climbed up beside him before Ben walked out with Elaine. With a raised eyebrow, Ben helped Elaine into the back seat and then sat beside her for the ride to church. As usual, Jon was talking. He had recovered from his trauma with no ill effects except for an occasional nightmare, which was resolved as soon as his father held him. In the carriage, he pointed at lots of things and asked questions. When they were almost to town, he turned to Elaine.

"You should ride up here with Papa on the way back. You can see a lot from up here. Papa knows lots of stuff."

"If Elaine sits up here, then Grandpa has to watch you and answer all of your questions."

"Oh, Adam, I don't mind at all. I would love to have my grandson all to myself for the ride." When Adam turned back to his father with a scowl, Ben just smiled at him daring him to disagree with that. Adam couldn't. Then Jon had another question.

"Hoss says that winter is in the air. Does that mean it's gonna get cold soon because it sure isn't cold today? Hey, Papa, how about if you take me and Miss Lainy to the lake again? It might be the last time if winter is in the air."

"Son, that sounds like a great idea that my grandson had there. You don't get to just relax much, and Elaine can't take Jon to the lake by herself. It wouldn't be safe."

"I already have plans for the afternoon."

"Oh, what do you have planned?"

"It's private."

By snapping the reins then and speeding up a bit, Adam let them know there was to be no more conversation about it. Ben looked over at Elaine and shrugged. He had tried. Outside the church, Roy was waiting for them. Adam had been avoiding him at church services, and Roy knew it. Because Adam didn't come to town at any other time, there had been no opportunity for the two men to speak. Adam sighed when he saw him knowing that there was no more avoiding what could be a painful conversation. Ben walked Jon and Elaine to the church to allow Adam and Roy to talk privately.

"Adam, I wasn't much of a friend to you when you needed me. I was wrong. I shoulda resigned my office right then and there and helped Joe break you outta that jail. I was so blinded by my oath to uphold the letter of the law, I forgot I also swore to uphold justice. What happened to you wasn't just. It's the main reason I'm resigning the office."

"You don't have to resign because of me."

"Yes, I do. I have to show you that I'm really sorry for what happened, and that I didn't do more to help you. I can't let myself be in a position to fail a friend like that again. It's time for me to resign. Clem's gonna win this election. He'll make a better sheriff than me."

"You were always a good sheriff."

"I thank ya for saying that, but we both know I made a big mistake. Somehow I shoulda been able to see what was happening. I didn't, and you coulda died because of it. I hope that someday you can forgive me for failing you so badly."

"I will, Roy. Just give it some time, all right? I have a lot of adjustments to make. It'll take me some time, but it will happen."

"Thank you. I don't know what I woulda done ifn you said you couldn't. You need me to do anything at all to help you, and I will."

Uncomfortable at the possibility of any more of this conversation, Adam had a suggestion. "Let's go into church now. I don't want to call attention to myself by being late."

On the ride home, Elaine did ride beside Adam. She was worried that he would be upset that she had followed Jon's suggestion, but he was polite and did answer any questions she had. When they arrived back at the Ponderosa, Adam didn't put the carriage away.

"I have some things to do, and I'll need the carriage. Please watch over Jon. I'll be back as soon as I can."

After Adam left, Ben decided that it was a very nice day and asked if anyone wanted to go to the lake for what might be the last picnic of the season. Everyone did, and they had a grand time at the lake with Hop Sing's lunch, a little wine, some fishing, and some stone skipping. There was nothing serious about the day as they simply enjoyed being in each other's company. It got late, and it was evening before they returned. Adam was just coming from the stable when they got back. His hair was mussed up, and he had what appeared to be rouge on his collar. Joe got upset, and after Elaine and Jon went in the house, he confronted Adam before his father could stop him.

"Did you go see a woman?"

"No, Joe, I didn't go see a woman. There were some things I needed to take care of, and I did."

"Then what's that on your collar?"

"Nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing. I think you owe us an explanation."

"And I don't think that I do. Now, I think I'll go inside to see my son if you don't mind."

"And if I do."

"Then I'll do it anyway, because my life is none of your business."

"It was all of our business when we had to save your neck."

"And I have thanked you often and sincerely for that, but that doesn't mean that you get to run my life or know everything about it."

Moving between Adam and Joe and stepping close to Joe, Ben did his best to settle the two men down. "Joe, let Adam go into the house. This is not the way to talk about this." Joe wanted to say more, but acceded to his father's request. Adam turned and walked to the house without another word. He talked little with anyone at dinner and after, and went to his bedroom after he got Jon settled in bed for the night. Ben walked upstairs to talk with him. He knocked on the door, and it took a moment for Adam to answer. He pushed the door open to see Adam seated by the window staring out.

"Rough day?" Getting a nod, Ben thought he knew some of what Adam had done. "Did you go to Barbara's grave?" He got another nod. "Have a few things you wanted to say to her?" That got Adam to turn to look at him. "Remember, I've been through this too. I spent a number of hours at your mother's graveside. I debated with myself whether I should go west or stay in Boston. I argued with myself about whether to take you with me or leave you with your grandfather until I had a place for you here. It was easier somehow to do that talking there where she was."

"I went to the house too. I got some of her things and packed them up. The boxes are in my closet. I wanted to have some things to give to Jon when he was older. I also packed up some of Barbara's family items and brought those to Julia. I asked if she wanted anything else, and she couldn't even talk. She cried. I cried."

"That's where you got the rouge on your collar." Ben got another nod.

"I don't know what to do about the rest of the stuff in the house. What do you think?"

"If you don't want to keep it, why don't we invite the minister to get a few people to go out there to get everything and distribute it among the families who need things like that?"

"I thought about that, but it would be very difficult to see her dresses and other clothing on strangers."

"We could send the clothing to Carson or Reno for distribution there. That way it would be very unlikely you would ever see any of it again. The furniture and household goods wouldn't be a problem, would they?"

"No, and maybe we could go strip the stable of anything useful first. I would want Jon's cradle if only to store it for him. I didn't think of that today. If they want, they can take windows, lumber, and anything else. I don't think I could ever live in that house again, and I wouldn't want to take a chance on the memories it might trigger in Jon."

"I can take care of all of that for you."

"Thank you. Can you tell Joe I'm sorry? I just couldn't talk about all of this when he wanted answers."

"I will, and I'll explain to both Hoss and Joe. We'll go take care of those things tomorrow. You should plan on spending the day with Jon. He had a good time today, but he was missing his father."

"I would like that, and thank you, again."

The next day, Ben enlisted Hoss and Joe to do what he had told Adam he would. Hoss led a crew that dismantled the house and stable stacking the best pieces of lumber in a storage shed, and having the rest cut up so the hands could burn it as fuel in their stoves in the winter. Piled in back of the bunkhouse, no one would recognize the pieces as being from Adam's house and stable. Nondescript items were simply put with the regular Ponderosa equipment and supplies, and wagonloads of furniture, household goods, and clothing were brought to the minister to be distributed in Virginia City and to Reno and Carson City to families in need. By December, there was nothing except some cornerstones to let anyone know there had ever been a house there.

On a number of occasions, Elaine took Jon to visit his aunt Julia. He liked her and knew that his Uncle Hoss liked her. It was there that Elaine learned of the rumors in town about her. As Julia got to know her and like her, she thought that Elaine had a right to know. She invited Elaine to visit when her duties with Jon allowed. That's when the discussion turned to the rumors.

"But they have all been gentlemen. Not one of them has even kissed me."

"After you were at the dance with Joe, some of the more jealous females began saying nasty things about you. They're jealous."

"But I have no interest in Joe. We only went to a dance together."

"Oh, and who would you have an interest in then?" Elaine didn't want to answer, but that was all it took for Julia to guess. "It can't be Hoss, so it has to be Adam. Well there are certainly a lot of rumors about him."

"What kind of rumors?"

"Well, I guess they aren't true rumors. The men who attended his trial and heard the, ah, ladies describe his proclivities, well that's what started the stories. It's calmed down considerably but every now and then, someone will mention something in passing, and then they all titter away."

"Proclivities?"

So Julia informed Elaine of the things Adam had apparently done with the painted ladies in the fancy house. Elaine thought it was all very tame compared to some stories she could tell, but she wasn't going to share that. Julia also mentioned a broken engagement and romances, gunfights, and fights. Elaine began to use those tidbits to formulate questions to Hoss and Joe when she had the chance. She was getting a very clear picture of the man she loved, and began too to understand why he thought she should look for someone else because of her age. She wasn't about to do that, but she knew why he might think that way. She thought she understood him.

What continued to be so difficult for Elaine though was the polite friendship that Adam maintained with her. He was kind, but not affectionate. They played chess. They read books and discussed them. They talked about activities for Jon, and often they did things together. But Adam continued to keep his distance, and he seemed to have no interest in changing that relationship. It was becoming increasingly difficult for Elaine.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Mr. Cartwright, with the winter snows coming, you won't really be needing me at all. There will be some members of the family here all the time. Jon will have plenty of supervision."

"That's not it entirely though, is it? I know I asked you to be patient with him and let him find his way again, but I have to admit, I thought he would have shown interest by now. I'm sorry if I gave you false hope."

"No need to be sorry. I gave myself false hope thinking that Adam did love me and only needed time to admit it. Now I can see that he doesn't love me, and I need to move on."

"Now, you will let me pay for the boarding house in town for the winter. I know there aren't many jobs available right now. When spring comes, the businesses will all be hiring as with more and more activity in town every day after the snows begin to melt."

"You don't have to do that."

"Please, I want to do that."

"Thank you. Do you think someone could give me a ride to town tomorrow then?"

"Hoss hardly ever passes up a chance to go to town because he gets to see Julia that way. I'm sure he would be willing to do that for you, but we will all miss you."

"Well, most of you will. The hardest will be saying goodbye to Jon. I hope this won't be too much of a problem for him."

"He'll be sad, but he can still come to visit you in town, I hope. That way he won't feel that he's lost you. And he'll have his father here full time for the next few months so that should help too."

"I'll tell Jon in the morning. I don't want to tell him tonight and have him upset and troubled. I'll pack and be ready to go so the goodbyes won't be dragged out. I only have two valises anyway."

"I'll tell my sons tonight so that they know to be ready in the morning. I will miss you, young lady."

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. All of you have been very kind. It's not Adam's fault that he doesn't love me. I guess I should have known that you can't make someone love you. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going up to my room. I'll stay there this evening. It would be too hard to be here with all of you knowing I was leaving in the morning."

"Of course, Elaine. I'll see you in the morning then. I'm sure Hop Sing will want to have a special breakfast for your last day here."

When Hoss, Adam, and Joe came in the house after doing evening chores, Ben told Jon that Hop Sing had cookies and milk for him in the kitchen. Adam looked at his father wondering why he would send him in for that just before dinner was served. By the time Ben finished telling them about Elaine leaving, Hoss and Joe were shooting dagger like looks at Adam who was doing his best to maintain a calm, neutral facade. His brothers couldn't see through, but Ben thought he looked like he was in shock. He wondered if that would be enough to shake him out of his feigned indifference to Elaine. Yes, she was young, but she loved Adam and she loved Jon. Ben couldn't see a better match ever happening for Adam. He waited to see what Adam might say, and there was no response. Joe was about to say something, but Ben said they should go to the dining table and not to talk about it in front of Jon because Elaine was going to tell him the next morning.

"He's going to need our support in this. She will be in town, and he can visit, but it's another loss in his young life. We need to be sensitive to that. Now try to keep things light at dinner. If you want to talk, we can do that after Jon goes to bed."

At dinner, Hop Sing was surly and had a few words about the situation. "Mister Adam supposed to be smart man. But he not smart. Now he need lesson in being smart."

After Hop Sing went back to the kitchen, Jon had a question for his father that was not unexpected. "Why is Mr. Hop mad at you, Papa?"

"Oh, for some reason, everyone seems to like being mad at me. Just eat your dinner. They'll get over it."

Ben raised his hand to silence Hoss and Joe who wanted to respond to that. The rest of the dinner was relatively quiet as Ben had to ask questions just to have some conversation at the table. After dinner, Adam played a short game of chess with Jon letting him make a lot of moves before the inevitable check and mate. Hoss and Joe tried playing checkers but there was no joy in the game for them. Adam never returned downstairs after putting Jon to bed, and the others soon trudged up to their beds.

In the early morning hours, some noise awoke Ben who was a light sleeper. He couldn't hear any more but went to the window to verify his suspicion. He nodded a short time later when Adam led Sport from the stable and rode off slowly. There was a waning moon, but still enough light for a short ride, and that's what Ben thought it would be. He suspected he knew where Adam was going. The next morning, Adam was not at breakfast. When Jon asked, Ben told him that Adam had gone for a ride. After breakfast, Elaine told Jon that she was moving to town. As expected, he cried, and no assurances that he could come to visit seemed to help at all. He sat sniffling on Ben's lap as Hoss and Joe walked Elaine outside. Ben said they ought to go see her off, and Jon agreed to that. As Elaine was picking up her bags to walk to the carriage after saying goodbye, Adam rode into the yard. Elaine had rather hoped he wouldn't get back in time to say goodbye. Another cool statement from him might be enough to push her over the edge into tears that she had avoided to that point. Adam tied off Sport and walked over to the group.

"Were you going to leave before I could kiss you goodbye?"

"A kiss?"

"Yes." Adam leaned down and brushed his lips softly over Elaine's lips.

"You call that a kiss?"

"No, I call this a kiss." Adam slid his hands inside her coat and around her waist pulling her to him as he pressed his lips against hers willing her to respond. She was shocked at first, but then dropped her bags and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They continued to kiss as if there was no one else there.

Joe shrugged and stepped forward to pick up the two bags and carry them back to the house. Hoss climbed into the carriage and his father had to ask. "Hoss, Elaine won't be needing that ride to town. Aren't you going to put the carriage away?"

"Heck no. I've been thinking since last night that I could visit Julia. I took a bath and everything. Don't wait up." Hoss snapped the reins and drove out of the yard.

Jon was staring at his father kissing Elaine, until Ben took his hand. "Jon, we need to go in the house and let your father and Elaine talk."

"Grandpa, you're funning me. They aren't talking. They're kissing."

"They'll start talking when they break to get some air. Now, let's go in the house."

As predicted, Adam and Elaine did need to break apart. Both of their hearts were pounding.

"Your hands are cold."

"Not any more."

"Very funny."

"Are you sure you want to do this. I'm not the easiest man to be with. You've seen the moods and the anger. I can be demanding too especially of a woman. Are you going to be all right with that?"

"Of course as long as you ask first and kiss me before and after."

"Before and after what?"

"Julia has told me about the rumors of all the things you like to do. Her sister too apparently confided some of your proclivities as she called them. I didn't find anything objectionable as long as you show you love me with kisses and respect."

"I can do that. Now, how about if you come with me into the stable so I can put Sport away. He's cold and hungry."

"Certainly. When do you want to get married?"

"Married? Woman, I just kissed you, and you're talking marriage?"

"Yes. Don't you want to marry me?"

"Yes, but I thought I was supposed to do the asking."

"Well, ask."

"Will you marry me at Christmas? The house will be decorated beautifully, our friends will come for a party, and we could be married. Then I could open up my present and show you a few of those proclivities."

"Yes, that sounds like a good plan. I have one condition though. You have to promise to kiss me every day for the rest of our lives."

"What if I'm not here?"

"I'll bank them and you can make it up to me when you get back."

"That sounds like an even better plan."

"When do we tell Jon?"

"When we tell everyone as if they haven't guessed already."

"I love you, Adam Cartwright."

"I love you, Lainy." And he sealed that with a kiss. Then he had to ask. "My father is going to be outraged at what activities? What did you have in mind?"

"At night, sometimes, I wanted to go to your room and crawl in your bed to make you admit you wanted me. Then I pictured you grabbing me and taking me. You know I'm not quiet when that happens. Not with you. You made me feel things I had never felt before. I want that again."

Chuckling, Adam pulled her to him again. "I had the same thoughts at night. Well, I had them in the morning, in the afternoon, and often in the evening too. I wanted to go to your room and make love with you."

"Is it all right with Barbara now if you do?"

Stepping back and looking down at her face, Adam frowned and then smiled. "You knew the trouble I was having with that. Yes, I had a good talk with her last night. I know she would want me to be happy, and I definitely know she would want a loving mother for Jon. She is more than all right with it."

"Not feeling guilty then?"

"Not any more. Barbara will always be part of my life though because she is an important part of my past. I love her, and now I love you and we have the future. Is that all right with you?"

Elaine nodded, and she sealed that with a kiss. "I have one more request." Adam looked at her waiting for what it was. "You need to shave in the morning and at night, or grow a nice soft beard because I'm not going to like being whisker burned all the time."

"Well, Jon said he doesn't like me having a beard, so for now I guess I'll shave more. Although the idea of a beard is appealing too." Then Adam took care of Sport before he and Elaine went into the house to make the expected announcement and begin planning the wedding.


End file.
